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Friday, June 16, 2006

Woman: "No money, no love."

Around two years ago, I had a chat with a guy, B, around 30 years old. He is from Semarang, my hometown while at that time I was in Yogya, a city ruined by the terrible earthquake last May 27, 2006. I was still pursuing my study at that time.

I remember he complained to me about his wife that he described as materialistic girl. She would treat him nicely if he gave her much money. On the contrary, she would ignore him if he didn't give her enough money. And he said, no money means no sex.

He complained why his wife didn't understand him. "She loves my money, and not me."

At that time, I told him that his wife just conformed to the society's norm that women must depend on men financially. I refered it to a proverb in Bahasa Indonesia, "Ada uang, abang disayang, tak ada uang, abang ditendang." (Read for men, no money, no love.)

Well, we don't know whether this proverb was made by a woman for women's benefit, or it was made by a man for men's benefit. Men would then treat his wife as a prostitute when he has much money, and the wife cannot argue, coz "money talks". However, coz this world has been male-dominated since time immemorial, I conclude that this proverb was made by a man for men's benefit.

I had some regular chats with B some time in 2004, and I could conclude that he belonged to patriarchal guy who appreciated stereotyping of what kind of characteristics a man should have and what kind of charactristics a woman should have.

When I criticized him to be not consistent to his own opinion about women's roles and men's roles, he still insisted that his wife understand him when he doesn't bring home enough money, and that his wife "serve" him in bed just the same.

Selfish guy!

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