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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Polygamy

I just want to emphazie what I have written here about this topic, polygamy, especially to respond the SELFISH guys thinking that polygamy is one way of life in Islam, moreover for SUNNAH RASUL.

this article is from http://www.submission.org/polygamy.html

Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.

Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.

Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet's full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife - from the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran (4:3).

Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophet's life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.

This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.

The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:

"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one."

(4:3) "You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try." (4:129)

The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:

1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).

So, when Ulama said that a wife's consent is not needed when the husband wants to get married again, please be careful that he is the LOST ULAMA. When the first wife disagrees, and the husband still insists, he will make the first wife hurt, and it is obviously seen to be WRONG.

4 comments:

jiwakitamerdeka said...

Abang kepada Raja Pop dunia Micheal Jackson, Jermaine Jackson yang telah memeluk Islam pernah berkata: Seorang lagi adik beliau yang juga sangat popular, Janet, sangat terkejut dengan pengislaman abangnya itu. Janet lebih melucukan kerana apabila sebut sahaja Islam, apa yang beliau tahu dan menjadi ketakutannya ialah soal poligami.

“Jadi, saya jelaskan kepadanya bahawa poligami itu sesuatu yang dibenarkan malah ia sebenarnya satu perkara yang mulia berbanding mempunyai hubungan sulit dengan ramai perempuan. Malah itulah yang berlaku kepada kebanyakan lelaki Barat yang telah berkahwin... mereka mempunyai hubungan sulit yang menyebabkan punca kerosakan moral dan menggugat kestabilan masyarakat.

“Jika seorang lelaki secara emosi terpikat dengan wanita lain maka ia patut menghalal dan menghormati hubungan itu dengan perkahwinan. Jika tidak, dia patut mempunyai seorang isteri sahaja,” jelasnya.

Menurut Jermaine, setiap wanita dalam Islam umpama sekuntum bunga yang kembang mekar dalam sebuah taman larangan yang mesti dijaga dan dilindungi daripada sebarang makhluk perosak sekalipun yang bernama lelaki.

Lagipun, katanya, dalam seluruh populasi umat Islam di seluruh Amerika Syarikat, tidak sampai 10 peratus penganutnya yang mengamalkan poligami. Jadi, tidak ada sebab untuk adiknya itu berasa bimbang.
Sumber: http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2006&dt=0608&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Bicara_Agama&pg=ba_01.htm

jiwakitamerdeka said...

Thanks to our learned jurists (ulama') for enabling Islam to be practised till the end of the world.

lulu said...

Poligami? kenapa ngga? Asal ada dana dan adil mah, hayu aja. Ga usah terlalu mikir ribet2 lah. Kan enak barengan, bisa kompakan.

A Feminist Blog said...

Yang dikatakan adil menurut Alquran adalah adil secara kasih sayang, bukan masalah materi saja.
Aisah saja cemburu pada Khadijah, ini berarti Rasul pun tidak bisa adil secara kasih sayang, gimana manusia lain?
Aku bukannya pengen ribet kok, cuma pengen mendudukkan permasalahan pada tempatnya, dan orang-orang mengatakan sejujurnya bahwa sebenarnya poligami pun bisa menjadi sesuatu yang haram. kuncinya ada pada surat yang sama juga, Annisa, dalam ayat yang lain, yang berarti, "dan jika kamu ingin adil, sebenarnya kamu tidak akan bisa."
Nah, kalo digabungkan dengan syarat untuk berpoligami yakni adil, dan bahwa manusia tidak bisa adil, bukankah itu berarti poligami haram???
Mengapa aku ribet? karena aku pengen para "ulama" itu JUJUR, jangan cuma setengah-setengah dong kalo nyampein ke masyarakat. OK? :D