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Monday, June 12, 2006

One Case of a Friend

I wrote this conversation still in my disturbed mood of relating to Alquran and Alhadith. This conversation happened in my workplace around two weeks ago.

AN: How could HR get divorced?

Me: Well, I suppose it was triggered by his conventional way of thinking to see the relationship between husband and wife. I remember about six years ago, at one of our workmate’s house, he told me that he would find a wife who dedicates all of her life to him; staying all night at home, cooking, washing clothes, serving him in bed, even he said including putting of his shoes when he got home from work. And at that time I saw with my very own eyes, his ex wife who was his girlfriend at that time putting of his shoes and socks in front of my eyes. God, it really hurt me as a woman. How could he degrade woman’s position like that? Well, if he really deserved to get such a wife, I don’t mind, and as long as the wife doesn’t mind either. None of my business anyway. But you know, his business got bankrupt. I imagine if he still behaved bossy like that in front of his wife and he didn’t have any money, no wonder if his wife divorced him. I know his life principle is husband earns money, supports his family financially, and in return his wife treats him like a king.

RY: However, if HR is really capable of supporting his wife financially, and his wife treats him like a king, she will go to heaven. Isn’t it stated in Alhadith, that a woman must treat her husband like that so that she will go to heaven?

Me: Huh? What hadith is that? A misogynist one, I believe. Why on earth do people believe in Alhadith more than in Alquran? Don’t you know that those books containing Alhadith were written more than two hundred years after Prophet Muhammad passed away?

Fortunately, or unfortunately then RY went away from the teachers’ room.I continued talking to my workmates who still stayed there.

Me: Well, I know RY is included into those conventional ones too. I remember at that time when HR said that his wife had to welcome him when he went home from work by putting off his shoes and socks, RY supported him very much.I realize it is not as easy as turning down our palm hand when wanting to change people’s way of thinking. This misogynist way of thinking toward women has happened for centuries, moreover when it is wrapped in the name of religion, it is very difficult. People’s tendency to get privileges for themselves makes it more difficult.

To end this writing, I want to quote what Sir James Dewar said:

When people’s minds are close, what can we expect? As some time ago I wrote in one blog of mine, it is just the same as we talk to a wall!

PT56 10.42 090606

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