Why do people tend to gossip about other people? Why don’t they just mind their own matter?
To forget their own problems in their life? To make themselves relieved that they are not the only ones who have problems, people need to find out other people’s weaknesses?
Last Sunday, June 18, 2006 when attending a wedding party of a workmate, I saw the new receptionist in my workplace—in her early twenties—come with a guy. I thought he was her boyfriend. In fact, he is her husband. Coz I didn’t know that she was already married, I commented, “Oh, she is already married? I don’t know about it yet.” Well, I suppose it was not my mistake not knowing that she was already married, was it? I never like to dig out other people’s personal problem. I view her as a receptionist, not as a wife of someone, or a child of someone, or a parent of someone. Or was it coz I was an ignorant person?
My comment in fact invited one workmate to talk more about that new receptionist. She said, “She also already has a baby, two and a half years old. She is too young to have a two and a half year old baby, isn’t she? That showed that her marriage was caused of “something”. (read getting pregnant before the wedding party. In Indonesia, it is still considered a disgrace.)
Knowing the atmosphere no longer conducive, (I don’t like to talk about other people’s personal problem), I tried to stop it by saying, “What’s wrong with our culture? When someone is still single, especially if she/he is considered old enough to get married, society will besiege her/him with questions such as, “When will you get married?” or “When will I get a wedding invitation from you?” After someone gets married for some time, people will besiege them with questions, “So, are you /is your wife already pregnant?” Now that she (the receptionist) already got married and already had a baby, people still talk about her. Why don’t we just shut our mouth talking about other people’s personal life?”
A male workmate—approaching forty years old and still single—laughed loudly hearing what I said. He responded, “Yeah, that’s one characteristic of our people here, Ma’am.”
Well, I just want to try to have a healthier society, where people stop bullying other people’s personal affair.
PT56 20.25 250606