Do you believe in afterlife?

 

Some time ago, I was involved in a talk about this thing: "afterlife" with one loved one of mine. I claimed as an agnostic to him; or that's what he 'concluded' about me from reading my blogposts.

 

Do agnostics believe afterlife?

 

Well, until 10 years ago, I still signed my posts in blog as "Nana, the secular". I finally decided to claim myself as an agnostic after 2012 for sure, with inexplicable reasons. :) Well, I realized long ago that I am in the process of searching. Therefore, I myself can't say that I will be an agnostic till the end of my life.

 

(haha, I believe it doesn't matter to you, does it?)

 

I can't avoid the fact that I was raised in a very rigid religious family. I got Islamic teachings not only from the school where I used to study, but more importantly was also from my very own parents. Therefore, if someone asks me what I have in mind whether I believe in the afterlife, I actually cannot stay away from the illustration of the condition of the afterlife I used to get from both my teachers and parents. But do I still believe in it? Of course not anymore.

 

My teachers used to say that only Muslims will go to heaven. Other people -- non Muslims -- will go to hell, no matter how good their deed is when they live in their life; because Islam is the only religion approved by the One and Only Almighty. Non Muslims will be punished to go to hell forever because they don't want to convert to Islam when they are alive.

 

(Therefore some -- I can't say many, moreover most of them -- Muslims then do anything bad they wanna do in their life (cheating, killing, corruption, etc) because eventually they will go to heaven. Of course there will be time for them to go to hell for those whose negative deed is bigger than their virtue, this is called that those Muslim people need to be 'cleansed' before entering heaven.)

 

"Do you believe so?" asked my loved one.

 

Well, during my life journey (thanks to facebook where I get a lot of different insight from many people I get to know there), especially in my senior age, I have met people from different walks of life. The insight I got from befriending with them gave me another idea.

 

In Islamic teaching, people know a philosophical term 'insan kamil'. Ibnu Arabi, one well-known sufi 'coined' this term as one perfect man, to refer to Prophet Muhammad. Insan kamil is the highest level of Muslim. Therefore, to be Insan kamil is what every Muslim covets to be.

 

Referring to that term, I have an idea that all people who have reached that level -- insan kamil -- will 'moksha' when they die. They will be liberated from any suffering, dukha and samsara; either they will enter 'nirvana' (heaven?) or they will just disappear. For those who do not reach that level yet, they will be reincarnated. And life will go on that way, for everyone.

 

This is what I think now when someone asks me about life after death. This is my level of my belief right now. And, I am still searching …

 

PT56 13.48 31.08.2023

 

DATING YOUR HOMETOWN?

 

In an episode titled "Anchors Away", Carrie Bradshaw mentioned that New York City is a very good 'date' for single people. There are lots of theaters, parks, museums, night clubs, movies, not to mention restaurants. And if you are lucky, perhaps you will find a great love when you are dating your hometown. :D

 

Well, perhaps because Carrie is not an introvert person; she does not belong to a homebody type either.

 

 

 

As an introvert person, I cannot imagine I am dating Semarang, my hometown, lol. Semarang, the capital city of Central Java, is not a big city; though it is not a small one either. Even though Semarang does not have many 'amusement places' as Carrie mentioned (museums, theaters, parks, etc) I sometimes spend time to visit such places we have here, e.g. museums, but I don't do it alone. I do it with Angie, my daughter, or with Ranz, my biking mate. Once in a blue moon I watch plays in Taman Budaya Raden Saleh (before pandemic) because my (biking) friend played as one actor. :D watching movies is not my cup of tea to spend spare time. I'd rather watch movies in my laptop at home although it is perhaps not as entertaining as when we watch movies in the cinema.

 

I sometimes go to cafes, sometimes alone, sometimes with Angie when we want to eat out; or with Ranz when she is in town.

 

Despite the fact that when I was a teenager, I didn't really enjoy staying at home during weekend or holiday, (I used to like visiting friend's homes or hanging out with them somewhere) recently I stay home most of the time. As a part time teacher, I go to my workplace only when teaching. I do the preparation at home. After finishing doing my household chores, I will sit in front of my laptop, behind my bedroom's window (acting like Carrie does at SATC, lol) and start doing anything what I wanna do.

 

Before pandemic, I used to sometimes go to mall alone, just to get rid of boredom from my routines. After pandemic? I sometimes go to supermarket/department store nearby my house to go (real) shopping, not just for sightseeing. Pandemic indeed changes our lifestyle, do you agree?

 

Nevertheless, I think Carrie's idea is not a bad one.  Perhaps I need to go out more often, alone. I need to date my hometown, lol.

 

PT56 10.31 15.11.2022

 

Frienemy with Mom

My relationship with my Mom was not as smooth as my relationship with my daughter, Angie. I believe I am not the only person who experienced this. For instance, take a look at Gilmore Girls serials. Lorelai's relationship with Emily, her mom was not as good as her relationship with Rory, her daughter.

 

the pic was taken from here

Around a year ago, I wrote one article I entitled "parent-child relationship". In it, I illustrated that good relationship between parents and children was caused by a big age gap between parents and children. One comment was written by a friend of mine, "I have frienemy relationship with my mom. This was caused by the time when I was born, my dad passed away." Another comment from another friend, "I have an awkward relationship with my mom; we love each other but we were not close to each other. This is totally different from my relationship with my daughter. Perhaps I am more 'friendly' than 'motherly' to my only daughter. Perhaps what you said was right: bigger age gap between my mom and me made our relationship awkward."

the pic was taken from here

 

Well, in fact my age gap with my mom is shorter than my age gap with Angie. My mom was 23 years old when I was born; I was 24 years old when Angie was born. However, learning from my experience as a child, I treated Angie differently from the way my mom raised me. Well, I could do this perhaps because I have only one child. Although I was busy as a breadwinner outside home (my mom was a housewife), I have more intimate relationship with Angie.

 

Nevertheless, I have never come to the term 'frienemy' to describe my relationship with my mom. Although both of us were born in August -- under the same zodiac, Leo -- our upbringing and education were different.

 

***********

 

On facebook, I have one cyber friend who often writes about her bad relationship with her mom. In the past, she disliked her mom. However after learning meditation, where loving oneself, healing oneself and forgiving others are included, she seemed to view her relationship with her mother from different point. Of course she could not 'change' her mom's attitude or behavior; it is easier to change her own way of thinking in understanding her mother. Realizing that she was quite successful in it, she spread this to her facebook friends.

 

 

In my 'feminist' blog, I used to write about my spiritual view which was difficult to understand by my mom. Some comments told me to try explaining my spiritual awakening to my mom -- in order that she would understand me better -- but I chose to be quiet when my mom sort of investigated me about this. Some questions like, "Are you not Moslem anymore?" or "So, what is your religion now?" or "Why don't you do rituals (pray five times a day) anymore, while when you were little you even did them diligently?" or "Do you want to go to hell?" etc.

 

I chose to keep quiet because I thought she would never understand my 'awakening'. Besides, I didn't have any courage to do it. I was a coward. 😓

 

However, after my mom passed away, I believe she still loved me no matter what I have become. She never pushed me to go out of the house, although in fact Angie and I were ready to leave the house. She never refused me when I was by her side to accompany her during her last few months living.

 

I love you Mom. Rest in peace.

 

PT56 18.08 07-July-2020

EX AND THE CITY

EX AND THE CITY

Different from the characters in SEX AND THE CITY who found it difficult to befriend with their ex (as depicted in the episode “Ex and the City” of season 2), I, in fact, didn’t find it hard to befriend with my ex (Angie’s dad). However, it was not that easy as I expected to still be friend with him because my friendliness to him was considered wrong by him. He thought that I still loved him (ahhh, I even don’t remember whether I really ‘ever’ fell for him long long time ago. LOL.) whenever I was still willing to spend time to chit chat with him. So? In order not to make him have the illusion that I was still his, I decided to avoid him whenever he visited my residence to meet Angie.

I left our old house in 2005. I ran away. LOL. I eventually got a chance to divorce him in 2008. Once or twice I spent some time with him when he came to my residence to meet Angie. But then I decided to avoid him thoroughly after I read his body language whenever we met.

A few months ago, Angie told me that her dad would get married again. I was really relieved. (I needed 7 years to get the real feeling that we were no longer destined to be together. No idea why I should think this way.) Guess what? Frankly, I wanted to attend his wedding day, I would show him my wide happy smile to show my relief. LOL. However, he didn’t invite me. LOL. And when the day came, I was attacked by the feeling of laziness to go so I didn’t go.

I didn’t date lotsa boys before I married my ex. But in 2008, several times I dated a guy whom I dated after graduating from high school. He said that he never stopped loving me after 20 years. Ha ha … do you believe what men say? He was married, but I just dated him, not more than just had dinner together. If you believe. LOL. But not long, I stopped dating him when he expected more than just friendship. Ha ha … In this episode, Samantha said “women are for friendship, men are for fucking.” But eventually he said to Mr. Cocky, “Could we be just friends?” because of his too big dick. LOL. In several episodes before, she broke up with James because his dick was too small. LOL. Meanwhile, in this same episode, Miranda had sex with Steve after breaking up for some time. After having sex, Steve asked her, “Are we still friends now?” Miranda answered, “Yes. We are friends who have sex.” LOL.

After leaving my ex in 2005, I dated quite a lot of guys, all of them were younger than me. J But nobody really made me fall for them. Am I, in fact, unable to love anybody? Hah! This idea reminded me of Celia, one character in T. S. Eliot’s drama entitled “The Cocktail Party”. Oh well …

PT56 15.49 24092015

morningpray

 

I don’t remember when the last time I prayed. :-P Perhaps since I realized that in my ‘old’ dictionary, the word ‘pray’ referred to ‘dictating to god to fulflil what I wanted via praying’, instead of ‘begging to god for god’s mercy to grant my pray’.  At this point I realized that I have converted to be an agnostic instead of “just” a secular. How long ago? I don’t remember. but perhaps some posts related to “praying” will remind me myself.

So, because I stopped praying, does it mean that I never expect anything for my future? (do you agree that praying means we expect to get something good for our future and we ask god’s help to make it come true? Or in a more extreme point, we dictate god to grant it.)

Of course I still expect some (or perhaps many) good things for my future. But as people say, praying has a kind of ‘placebo effect’ (in Bahasa Indonesia, we call it ‘sugesti’). After praying, people feel like they have more strength to make their dreams come true. So? They try harder to reach their dreams after they pray.

Me? I skip the ‘praying’ stage. After having one expectation – let’s say – I directly jump to the following stage: do my best to make it come true. Isn’t our real effort the most important part?

However, since I ‘learned’ that in many cases our own expectation – especially when it is related to somebody else – sort of hurt us when it doesn’t come true, I have tried my best not to have lotsa expectations. Just live my life enough. Do what I must do. As many ‘spiritual’ people believe that what we have done towards other people in this universe, in fact, we do it to ourselves.

Meanwhile ...

A few weeks ago, something came up. This made me open my twitter account that I made perhaps in the middle 2010. But due to my twitter illiteracy, I hardly visited.   I started tweeting until I found some accounts of public figures that I thought would broaden my horizon in viewing this life. One of them was Ayu Utami whose book – Si Parasit Lajang – was always one of my most favorite books. And I always love reading her other books, from Saman, Larung, Bilangan Fu, and Manjali dan Cakrabirawa.

I don’t know her spiritual view, honestly. One thing for sure is of course I know she is against the male-dominated culture.

But frankly speaking after following her account on twitter, I found it surprising when the first time she tweeted something that was related to ‘pray’, although it was a simple one. For example, “#doapagi, lenturkanlah otot kami yang tegang” (#morningpray, make our stiff muscles bend and relax easily) “#doapagi, lumerkanlah lemak menggumpal ini” (#morningpray, reduce the fat in our bodies) until more serious one, such as “#doapagi, tajamkanlah pikiran kami dan lembutkanlah hati kami” (#morningpray, sharpen our brain and soften our heart).

Well, people can say that she can be my role model so out of nowhere, I started thinking what kind of ‘pray’ I could post in my twitter account.  My first one is like this: “#morningpray, wish my yummy cappuccino will brighten my day and the good rumor at school will come true”. Well, in fact it didn’t sound much different from my ‘usual’ status, such as “my darling perfecto cappuccino, please brighten my day”. Only, I did not necessarily consider it as a pray. 

Have you ever thought that the existence of social network – such as facebook – has made people more narcissistic? It happened to me too. So this ‘new’ idea about updating status using the term #morningpray gave me more ‘chances’ to attract my online buddies there. (ahh, excuses!)

Luckily, not long after that, when reading Ayu Utami’s latest novel “Cerita Cinta Enrico” – the so-called biographical novel of her ‘present’ husband, I found the answer of my own question about her spiritual view. Compared to Enrico who always thought that he was a non believer (but still thinking about ‘being sinful or not’ when having sex), Ayu was a believer. She was just against everything which was patriarchal, such as Indonesia’s regulation of marriage : man/husband is the leader and woman/wife is the homemaker. The government is not supposed to interfere in a family’s business,

Me? Believing that all religions (or only Abrahamic religions?) were products of patriarchal culture, I decided to be neutral.

So? Despite the fact that I claimed to be an agnostic, in my twitter account (which is synchronized to my r account) perhaps once in a blue moon, I will write #morningpray. But for sure, it is a far cry from dictating the so-called god.
GL7 14.04 200312

check this link and that one about praying 😊

 the Bahasa Indonesia version can be viewed here

Some comments I imported from my other blogsite which will be closed down on December 1, 2012

delete reply maddypunyacerita wrote on Mar 20 Interesting thought :))

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20 thank you Maddy :)

delete reply bambangpriantono wrote on Mar 20 :)

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20 bambangpriantono said :)  :) balik

delete reply srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20 nice...

delete reply orangjava wrote on Mar 20 srisariningdiyah said nice... Legi....hehehe

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20 orangjava said Legi....hehehe sweet :)

delete reply srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20 nice...

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20 srisariningdiyah said nice... aiiihhhh ... headshot nyaaa ^__^

delete reply rengganiez wrote on Mar 20 Keliatannya sejak menikah Ayu byk berubah :-D

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20 rengganiez said Keliatannya sejak menikah Ayu byk berubah :-D begitu ya? :)

delete reply rengganiez wrote on Mar 20 Hihihihihi

delete reply srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20 harusnya kamis kemarin pas aku siaran terakhir sebelum cuti, ini ayu utami yang aku wawancara, untuk bukunya yang ini... sayang dia telat dateng dan gak ada konfirmasi lagi tetep mau dateng apa engga, padahal dah aku kasih slot jam selanjutnya kalo emang mau, karna kebetulan kosong... hihihi padahal mau nanya2 yang aneh2 xixixixx

delete reply rembulanku wrote on Mar 20 doa yuk mbak, minta apa enake? *make a list first* hehehehe

delete reply dinantonia wrote on Mar 22 i think we should be praising, grateful and believing instead of asking when praying :)

delete reply mawarangel wrote on Mar 30 How your opini mba, when i "curhat" to God. I ask nothing, just want to membagi beban. Ketika teman yg paling aku percayai ternya melupakan aku... Is it a dictating also,,, :-(

edit delete reply afemaleguest wrote on Mar 30 Mawar, of course not you "just" curhat, right? not ask god to do something, let's say? :-D

Well ... well ...

I found it very funny when out of the blue I got some emails or poems or notes -- some from people I never know, some from people I know online -- that I guess the senders wanted to 'preach' on spiritual things; more exactly, from a so-called 'abrahamic' religion which was obviously not the one I (once) adhered to.

I am of opinion that they have visited my blogs or notes on FB about my spiritual journey where I sound like to be a non-believer. If I relate it to one movie I watched "SAVED!", perhaps those guys/girls wanted to save me from my being in (perhaps they were thinking that I was) limbo? Since I sound no longer (100%) believe in the religion forced to me when I was a kid?

I really really found it RIDICULOUS. But, anyway, that was a nice try, pal! I never read those emails -- that apparently for me just JUNK MAILS -- because I directly deleted them.

love and light for everyone,
Nana Podungge
~ label herself as a little devil ~

Agnosticsm

How can we know if there is something we call 'God'?

The second topic to discuss in my religion class was God's existence. The material to be discussed was from God. As you can see in the website, the discussion on whether God exists or not was viewed from Christianity. One student said that her parents taught her to believe in Jesus. She said that at the beginning, she believed in it only because her parents taught her so. However, recently, she said she believes in it wholeheartedly that only in Christianity she feels saved.

Below is a summary written by one student of mine.

In many cultures and religions, God is mentioned many times. God seems to be the entire reason a religion is made. There also many different representation of gods. He has become quite an important figure in the spiritual world.

In the scientific world, however, God's existence is challenged by the requirement of proof. Not many people can claim God does exist just by saying He should. The scientific way of truth is based on disproving lies and proving true physical claims, but cannot see spirituality.

It should be noted that in this world, much more people will believe something that has been proven physically, someone cannot claim a man with double joints once existed without proof.

That is the weakness of religions:: no proof. Therefore, God's existence cannot be truly proven. That is why I say I am slightly agnostic, I am not sure whether he exists.

Does he exist or not? Why doesn't he show himself literally to the entire world? Why the secret? Is he real? Why are there many of him? Too many questions, aren't there? Those are mine. If they all can be answered, I'll choose to be Christian, or atheist, or whatever comes to my mind, although then again, I am too lazy to do much.

When seeing the background of his spiritual life, although only a little -- his mother never seriously teaches him about religions. He claims he reads scientific books and not religious ones. Perhaps as this academic year goes on, I will be able to dig more about him. :)

I am absolutely on the contrary from him. My childhood was full of religious teachings, reciting Alquran, memorizing hadith, learning fiqh, etc. I must say that the teachings I got were very patriarchal; that is why as a child, in fact I got a bit hurt to learn that women were the weaker sex in the so-called truest religion, the most perfect one. My life experience as one victim in patriarchal society, combined with my spiritual experience, plus the readings I chose to read as an adult made me somewhat agnostic.

PT28 20.10 090810

Nosy Workmates

How do you behave towards your workmates?

Well, I believe some (or maybe many) people have workmates as their good (or even best) friends. The easily seen reason is because we meet them everyday (or five till six days a week) so that they easily find ‘click’ among them.

Recently I rarely have such an experience. (If you refer to my post entitled ‘happiness’ where I wrote some special people who have colored my life, I mentioned some good friends, such as Ekani, Juli, Merry and Detta. I used to work with the first three girls in the same place, in one uni. Detta used to work in the English course where I have been working since 1996.) However, recently I don’t have workmates who are my best friends. Those from the English course are friendly, nice, and sweet although I choose to behave ‘my business is mine, yours is yours.” However, I will lend my ears if anyone of them wants to confide in me.

But when talking about workmates I have in my other workplace, I have different stories. I am new in this office. (I started working there last academic year.) My ‘multiple personalities disorder’ made my aloof character exposed since the very beginning I worked there. The mere reason was just I was new, and I had to find out first what kinds of characteristics my workmates had. Absolutely it was okay for me since this was also me, the aloof Nana. (FYI, my other personality is the happy-go-lucky cyclist.)

A year has passed. I am still the same aloof Nana. You can guess why. I mind my own business; I NEVER mind anybody else’s business. I do my best for my job (so I thought), transferring knowledge I store in my brain with students, build a conducive atmosphere in the classrooms so that students easily get the lesson I give.

So what do you think I should do when out of the blue two workmates shockingly comments on the red lipstick I put on my lips everyday? What’s wrong with that? (I easily guess some nosy and fussy workmates speak behind me.)

What do you think I should do when out of the blue a workmate thinks I am too isolated from the others because I am busy doing bla bla bla => a very heartless and nosy accusation. (I even don’t have a heart to write it here. Just relate it with my being single-parent.)
I do wish I could punch her nose and kick her ass!!!

PT56 19.58 151109

Nana Podungge on the Jakarta Globe

http://thejakartaglobe.com/lifeandtimes/blogging-in-english/313712

by Michelle Udem

Blogging In English
Michael Jubel Hutagalung, a Web designer based in Bandung, West Java, started Jubel and the Unessential, an English-language blog, primarily to improve his written English. The blog offers Hutagalung’s random musings on Indonesia’s politics and culture.

Within a year of Hutagalung starting the blog in October 2007, the traffic to the site was so high that it was exceeding the bandwidth limit on the platform he was using, and he had to move his blog to another host. The traffic explosion, mostly from Indonesians living abroad, gave him an incentive to do more than just improve his English skills.

“I want to tell the world what Indonesia’s really like — how the people really live,” Hutagalung said. But readers may not always get much on how Indonesians are living on an up-to-the-minute basis, or even about the day-to-day concerns of his countrymen.

Hutagalung last posted on Monday, after a two-month hiatus, filling readers in on his university plans and his personal debate in choosing between studying in London or the Netherlands.

The total number of Indonesian bloggers is difficult to quantify due to the constant deletion and activation of blog accounts. A top Indonesian-language blogger and internet publisher, Enda Nasution, says that Indonesia has about one million bloggers, based on blogger.com information, Wordpress information and blogs hosted personally — there are about 20 blogging communities in Indonesia, one in ever major city.

For Indonesians blogging in English, many are simply interested in trying to reach an audience beyond their own country and to give a perspective not available in the foreign media. Out of the 10 bloggers listed here, seven do not have a degree in English, nor have they studied abroad.

Budi Putra, a freelance writer and full-time, self-employed blogger living in Bintaro, South Jakarta, writes in English about new gadgets from an Indonesian perspective. Though many of his topics involve global technology news, he feels he provides a unique perspective as an Indonesian.

“My main demographic is both Indonesians and foreigners, especially those who love technology and digital life issues … Blogging is about conversation, so I want to talk to them through my blog. That’s why my blog’s tagline is ‘Talk With Me.’ ”

Hutagalung and Putra’s blogs focus on specific topics, but the majority of the Indonesians bloggers writing in English are diarists, who post as the mood strikes.

Devi Girsang, a 22-year-old medical student born, raised and living in Jakarta, operates the site “It’s My Life,” last updated May 5. With a tagline, “Love & Tears. Laugh & Cry. Achievements & Regrets. Welcome To My Life!” Girsang’s blog ranges from discussions on everyday topics such as poor customer service to inquiries on why people do bad things.

Such topics written from an Indonesian perspective and in English help readers realize that people worldwide run into the same problems and share the same emotional inquiries.

In another blog, “Republikbabi,” 23-year-old Calvin Sidjaja from Bandung posts updates about growing up with a mixed heritage in Indonesia. On his blog, Sidjaja discusses the role of mixed heritage Indonesians, such as Dutch-Indonesians and Chinese-Indonesians. He delves into the history of mixed heritages in Indonesia and how society views these people today.

“Many international students were helped because of the personal essays [on my blog],” he said.

But the Internet is not always the safest place to express personal and sometimes controversial opinions.

Girsang has “been accused of being an ‘American-wannabe’ from an anonymous commenter,” and Sidjaja notices how any type of neutral post he writes on religion always causes controversy.

Regardless of the hate mail and negative feedback, the bloggers find that voicing their thoughts and opinions in English is beneficial. “Though difficult to write in English, I like challenges. I love the rhythm of English words. It’s more personal and subjective,” Budi Putra explains.

To these bloggers, writing in English is their key to communicating to the outside world as they find freedom in abandoning their own tongue for just a few moments a week or month.

“Bahasa can be so difficult because of the formality of the language. I can express myself more casually in English” Girsang said.
These ten English-language blogs appear in the top 50 Indonesian blogs tracked by Web site www.indonesiamatters.com

Three Popular Blogs Written by Expats Living in Indonesia:

These three blogs written by expatriates living in Indonesia are ranked in the top six on blogs.indonesiamatters.com.

1. Brandon Hoover
thejavajive.com/blog
Consisting of high-resolution photographs, Brandon Hoover’s blog takes a look at Indonesia’s natural beauty and his life here as an American. Aesthetically pleasing, Hoover’s blog illustrates how Indonesia has influenced his thoughts and photography. A fan of Indonesia, Hoover’s blog provides an American’s perspective on the joys of living in the country.

2. Jakartass
jakartass.blogspot.com
Jakartass, written by a Westerner living in Jakarta, consists of witty posts chronicling the life of an expatriate in Jakarta. Posts on the blog discuss local news as well as personal experiences illustrating quirks in Indonesian culture. Most recent posts discuss power cuts in Jakarta and a list of books by bloggers. Information on Indonesian acronyms and slang words are found on the sidebar of the blog.

3. Treespotter
Treespotter.blogspot.com
Treespotter is a personal blog containing posts mostly on daily life in Indonesia and current, local events. Posts include idiosyncrasies in Jakarta culture, such as how there is always a place to smoke. The personal posts are both entertaining and in depth, while the posts pertaining to politics are written from an outsider’s point of view.


Ten Blogs by Indonesians Who Are Writing in English:

These ten English-language blogs appear in the top 50 Indonesian blogs tracked by Web site www.indonesiamatters.com.

1. Michael Hutagalung
michaelhutagalung.com
Web designer Michael Hutagalung maintains a blog that consists of his personal perspectives, his design portfolio and discussions on Wordpress themes and Indonesian social issues. His blog offers readers the opportunity to learn about the Wordpress program as well as read an Indonesian perspective on the upcoming election.

2. Budi Putra
budiputra.com
Blogger Budi Putra of this self-titled blog provides commentary on local news and technology gadgets. Mixing local technological news, such as Indonesia’s launch of digital TV, Putra also updates readers on more esoteric news such as the discovery of Indonesian sea horses. Technologically-savvy Putra comments on how information from the upcoming election will be broadcast via SMS.

3. Devi Girsang
devigirsang.blogspot.com
Attracting both Jakartans and foreigners, Devi Girsang’s personal blog gives insight into the life of a young, Indonesian medical student. Girsang blogs on topics ranging from laptop malfunctions to bus-riding etiquette. Girsang’s blog gives expatriates the opportunity to observe a young Indonesian’s experiences, while peers can relate or rebut Girsang’s critiques of Jakarta culture and society.

4. Merlyna Lim
merlyna.org/blog
Blogging from her home in Arizona, Merlyna Lim’s blog focuses on her craft as an artist and her thoughts on both Indonesian and American issues. In between posts of her personal drawings and collages, Lim touches on local topics such as the construction of urban space in Bandung and internationally relatable topics such as inequalities within society.

5. Martin Manurung
martinmanurung.com
Martin Manurung’s self-titled blog covers topical news issues in Jakarta. Providing his own commentary and critique of social, economic and political topics, Manurung tries to counterbalance foreign media reports that he feels are often “misleading.” Straying away from gossip, Manurung’s blog gives foreigners an inside look from a local’s perspective.

6. Calvin Michel Sidjaja
republikbabi.com
Touching on sensitive topics such as his search for his family tree and being of mixed heritage, Calvin Sidjaja’s blog consists of posts on his personal life and experiences. Sidjaja’s Indonesian heritage is a main theme of his blog, a topic that many young adults can relate to.

7. Ecky
cisayong-girl.blogspot.com
Known on her blog as Ecky, the blogger writes from Australia. Though she mostly posts on personal subjects such as shower rituals and the perks of being a woman, Ecky also writes about the difficulties that come with change and leaving the comfort of her home country, Indonesia. Ecky also posts topical news from Jakarta, such as the upcoming election and President Obama’s effect on Indonesians.

8. Carla Ardrian
socialindividualist.blogspot.com
Blogging on various topics from gardening to photography, Carla Ardrian provides an Indonesian perspective on everyday things. Accommodating her Indonesian readers, Carla posts innovative recipes and political commentary, while foreigners may be more attracted to her travel and cultural tips. One of Carla’s posts comments on her experience of receiving incorrect directions as a tourist in Bali.

9. Nana Podungge
afeministblog.blogspot.com
Nana Podungge’s most recent post on her blog, “A Feminist Blog,” discusses the topic of religion. Podungge considers herself a secular Muslim. Her religious views are mixed with the other main focus of her blog, a woman’s role in society. A unique combination, Podungge’s blog provides insight into controversial topics.

10. Martha
mamahit.net/blog
“Frank and Martha’s Blog,” written by Martha, captures the life of a young family in Jakarta. Martha’s updates illustrate the charms shared by all families worldwide, such as receiving her first written letter from her elementary school-aged son. Chronicling the life of a mother, Martha shares her thoughts on baking experiences, the workplace and raising a young child.

Conversation

In one encounter with a cousin of mine

A: Why did you get divorced?
N: We were no longer suitable to each other.
A: Tidak ada dua orang hidup bersama, kemudian langsung cocok begitu saja. Keduanya harus saling mencocokkan diri satu sama lain. (There is no case of a couple living together where the two of them directly suit each other. Both of them have to struggle to do that.)
N: Aku tidak mau mencocokkan diri dengannya lagi. (In that case, I no longer was willing to do that.)

This part of the conversation reminded me of one cynical or rhetorical question of one post in a friend’s blog, some years ago: “Enak saja bilang ‘kita berdua ga cocok lagi.’ (How could people easily say, ‘we were no longer suitable to each other?’ What did you consider before getting married in the past?”
The answer is simple actually: “People change.” When only one of the couple changes, the other doesn’t change, the two of them will not be compatible anymore.
In one scene of “Definitely Maybe” movie, Sarah was worried to let Will go to New York. “You will change …” Sarah pleaded. “Let us change together,” Will responded.
When the love disappears between the couple, or perhaps only in one of them, living together will be like in hell for both of them, or especially for the one whose love has disappeared.

A: Kalau kasusnya begitu, ya repot. Aku ga bisa berkomentar apa-apa lagi. (So, if that is the case, I cannot comment anything else.)
N: You had better not.

*****

A: You have a boyfriend?
N: No. Not yet.
A: Is he already married again?
N: Not yet.
A: Ah … why don’t you two get back to each other?
N: Naaaay … No way.

(What a stubborn cousin. LOL. Haven't I told him before that my ex and I are no longer compatible? Just blame me, if you want, because I have changed alone, I have left my ex far behind me so that he could not catch up. Just blame me, if you want, because my love for him has disappeared with the wind. But, blame him for making this happen. A long long time ago.)

A: Have you ever heard a hadith saying that blessing of a woman is on the husband's hands (or feet? I forgot what he said. LOL.)?
N: Bless me because I am not married! My blessing is directly on God's then.

This cousin of mine must be dreaming thinking that I would be easily cheated by such a misogynist hadith. Wake up, cousin! My role models are Fatima Mernissi and Amina Wadud for Muslim feminists. Another role model of mine is Charlotte Perkins Gilman, a Deist. My favorite reading is JURNAL PEREMPUAN.
Anyway, that conversation happened on our first encounter. He obviously doesn't read my blog thoroughly, though he found my blog first, then me.
SPB 08.20 180609

Sure you can ask me personal questions (2)

I am a Muslim, if you think religion for you to know. But I am a secular Muslim. Sometimes I even label myself as an agnostic, especially during my journey to be an acclaimed feminist and a secular.
Don’t get me wrong. I shaped myself as a secular from books I have read. My background was strict, religious family and somewhat conventional Islamic elementary school.
The turning point in my religious or spiritual life was when I was pursuing my study at American Studies, Gadjah Mada University; the reading materials from some classes, plus books I bought using the allowance I got from BPPS, mixed with my rebellious nature and ‘wild’ interpretation changed me to be the present Nana.
Surely, I felt very alone and weird afterwards, thinking that no one could understand my way of thinking. Blogging has helped me a lot to overcome this problem. Joining some mailing lists—whose members are broad-minded—obviously made me feel “I am not the only one to be a secular (and sometimes agnostic) and a feminist. Nevertheless, when facing ‘real’ people’ in my ‘real’ world, I still feel weird. Anyway, I have to move on with my life, right?
Recently I have been busy working especially since August 2008 so I don’t have much time left for blogging. That’s why I seldom post in my blogs, only some trivial poems (sometimes )
My daily schedule is
• Monday till Friday 07.00-15.00 in an international school. My teaching schedule is around 26 slots per week. During 2008/2009 academic year, I taught Senior English level 1, Bahasa Indonesia for grades 7, 8, 9, and supervised library sessions for the same grades.
For 2009/2010 academic year perhaps I will handle Senior English level 1 and 2, English literature for grades 7, 8, 9, and IGCSE Sastra Indonesia for grade 10.
• Monday till Thursday 17.00-19.00, Friday 16.00-18.00 and Saturday 08.00-12.00 and 16.00-18.00 I teach English as a foreign language in one English course.
• Monday AND Thursday 19.00-21.00 I teach Poetry and Drama Analysis classes in one private college in my hometown.
Very hectic, isn’t it? :)
Practically I don’t have much time left to do exercise. Therefore I usually bike around the town around 30-60 minutes after teaching. I bike to work from Monday until Thursday.
Well, b2w has become my lifestyle since July 2008, after I joined b2w Semarang community. At first, someone named ‘Aluizeus’ read my post at ‘multiply’ blog complaining about the soaring price of gasoline. He suggested that I b2w to overcome the problem. :) To read more complete writings of mine about b2w, you can visit my blog at http://afemaleguest.multiply.com under tag ‘b2w’.
Being born in a Muslim family that belongs to the so-called ‘indigenous’ ethnic in Indonesia absolutely made my life easier, not much discriminative treatment I have ever got. Though I don’t have Javanese blood, living in Java island is very ok for me since I look like the majority of Javanese people, brown complexion, dark hair, and dark almond-shaped eyes. If bloody events happen (such as a tragedy in May 1998), I will certainly NOT be targeted. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean I don’t have empathy for my fellow Chinese Indonesian citizens. Just read my posts thoroughly at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com
The “only” discriminative treatment I have ever got, as far as I remember, is because I was born with vagina, breasts, and womb. However, this “only” thing means BIG when coming to the life of women in this patriarchal society.
Some reasons why I blog in English:
• English is my second language, since I graduated from English Department.
• To sharpen my ability in writing in English—one thing I oftentimes had to do during my study at American Studies Graduate Program. I work in a place where I am not obliged to write a lot. Writing in English for blogs helps maintain my ‘spirit’ as a Graduate Program student. :)
• To reach wider audience. I sometimes address people living out of Indonesia to talk about what has happened in my home country.

LL Tbl 10.20 120609

Sure you can ask me personal questions (1)

Nana Podungge is my name.
Well, I was born in Semarang, but both of my parents are from Gorontalo, North Sulawesi.
Yup, I got my family name from my parents. Both of them happen to be Podungge; in fact they are cousins.
I am a teacher, especially an English teacher.
The most interesting thing from my profession? Well, I love sharing knowledge I have, and love to know my students’ experience too, so there is a kinda exchanging knowledge between us.
I love reading, writing, blogging, listening to music, biking, and swimming. In fact swimming is my most favorite sport although since I bike to work, I don’t go swimming regularly anymore.
Blogging? Ya you can say this is my most favorite pastime. I have loved writing since I was a kid. Blogging has enabled me to expose my writings so that other people can read my writings too. (I am absolutely a narcissist for this. LOL.) Moreover after I was awakened by feminist ideology, blogging has obviously helped me a lot to express my anxiety.
Wanna know my blogsites? Easy. Just type NANA PODUNGGE in any search engine, google, yahoo, or any other. You’ll be led to my blogsites.
Single or married? Hmm … do you think I look like a single or married woman? LOL.
My favorite reading is JURNAL PEREMPUAN. One favorite book of mine is SI PARASIT LAJANG written by Ayu Utami.
I was born and raised in Java island so my favorite dish is Javanese food, such as ‘pecel’, ‘gudangan’. I also like fried rice and ‘kwetiau’.
My favorite drink is coffee. The second is tea. The third is orange juice. No, I don’t like soda drink. :) Well, I don’t think I am a coffee addict, though. :-d
SPB 09.30 120609


This is 'kwetiau'. :)

Small talk

On the second day in my CONVERSATION CLASS level 3, my students and I were talking about SMALL TALK, what kind of topic people talk about, especially when it is their first time meeting each other. As everybody knows, the topic is very various, and it definitely depends on the situation, place, and time.
When I elicited what kind of situation, a new student said, “Wedding parties …”
I wrote it on the whiteboard, then elicited again, “When you are in wedding parties, what do you talk about when you meet a new person?”
The same student answered, “Status Miss …”
I was stunned. I was never in such a situation, being in a wedding party, talking to a stranger, then being asked, “Are you single? Or are you married?” or asking someone else, a stranger, the same question.
I was a bit doubtful to write ‘marital status’ next to situation ‘wedding parties’ at first. But then I remembered one intriguing character in the movie ‘PS I love you’, Denise.
“Have you guys watched PS I LOVE YOU?”
Two or three girls raised their hands. However they did not remember Denise. (Perhaps because they watched it long time ago, while I just watched it a couple of weeks ago and I was intrigued by Denise.) So then I practiced.
I asked one male student in my class, “Are you single?”
He seemed confused to answer. Perhaps he has a girlfriend already. LOL.
I went to another male student, “Are you single?” he convincingly answered, “Yes Miss.”
Then I asked him again, “Are you gay?”
He frowned, then answered, a bit offended or confused, LOL, “No Miss …”
Apparently he did not watch PS I LOVE YOU. LOL.
The following question (in the movie) was, “Are you working?”

After Denise got satisfying answer, “Yes,” “No,” and “Yes”, she would confidently kissed the guy’s lips. After some time, she would stop the kiss. If she thought the kiss was just so so, not yummy at all, LOL, she would say, “oh not nice. Bye …” leaving the guy dumbfounded. LOL.
“Is it possible to practice it in Indonesia, especially in Semarang?” I asked my students. Instead of answering my question, they just laughed.
“Wish I could do that here though.” I said. LOL.
Oh well, my experience so far, I never attended wedding parties all alone, and I usually would just talk to the ones who accompanied me—Angie, sisters, or workmates.
“What other topic do people talk about in wedding parties?” I continued eliciting.
“The bride and the groom, Miss…” someone proposed.
“Good … what do you people talk about the bride and the groom?” I asked.
No one gave me an interesting answer.
“Well, I remember in one wedding party of a friend. She was in her middle thirties when she got married, and her husband luckily or coincidentally was nine years younger than she was. It is up to you whether you consider it lucky or unlucky or just so so.” I said to my students.
“In the party, I overheard people talk about the age gap between the bride and the groom, such as, ‘wah, kok nganten lanange isih kinyis-kinyis ngono?” LOL. (Wow, the groom looks so young and fresh!")
The following question possible asked to a stranger was, “Are you a friend of the bride or the groom?”
“How about if the stranger answered honestly, “None of them…” I asked.
“How come Miss?” one student asked.
“Well, a smuggler you know, just a passerby wanted to eat for free.” LOL.
There were some other situation and interesting topics. However, I have to prepare myself to go to the office now.
PT56 08.05 180409