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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Polygamy (again)

Luckily these past a few days, Indonesian people have been "entertained" by one drama done by Bambang Trihatmojo's family on this polygamy thing. His first wife and also the children did some damage to the dwelling of Mayangsari, the second wife of Bambang. (Well, so far, we ONLY know Mayang as the second wife, who knows in fact he has many other wives unknown by media? LOL. Look at Tommy's case for another example.)

Actually I am not the type of infotainment audience who is hungry for any gossip from celebrities. Not at all. However, coz since last week, I have been bothered by the plan of Puspo Wardoyo to launch tabloid named POLIGAMI, the drama of Bambang Tri's family really attracted me.

Who gets the benefit from this practice?

First, the asshole guy who thinks that to have one wife is not enough, to have one living blanket is not enough, so that he needs to have another one.

Second, probably the second wife. Many reasons behind this. Perhaps the main reason is MONEY (Note: if the guy is wealthy, such as Bambang Tri). STATUS is the following reason. (Referring to the fact that in Indonesia, people still stick to the consensus that to be happy is to get married. FAIRY TALE BANGET!!!) Also, you will be considered NOT SOLD OUT if you live single, moreover for those above thirty years old. For not confident women, they will choose to be the second wife, instead of being besieged by unempathical question, "When will you get married?"

As it happened some time ago in Indonesia, a woman was willing to be the nth wife of a famous singer, I concluded that WANTS TO BE FAMOUS can be the next reason. By being famous, this woman expects to be hired as a movie star, a model, etc.

Third, probably the first wife. I imagine if this wife no longer loves the husband so she feels disgusted to "serve" him in bed, so that she lets her husband have another wife. Probably, she then enjoys herself with her boyfriend. :D or she just enjoys the money from the husband, doing traveling around the world, shopping to her heart's content, etc.

HOWEVER, from the case of Bambang Tri's case, we can conclude that the ones who get this benefit are Bambang himself and Mayang. The attack done by Halimah and her children showed that she didn't let her husband share his love, care, perhaps including MONEY with another woman.
Although in Al-Quran, in Surah An-Nisa it is stated that a man can have more than one wife (up to four), the hurt in Halimah's heart shows that what Bambang Tri has done can be considered as SIN, coz it is obviously seen that he cannot be fair. In the same Surah, it is also stated the main requirement for this polygamy doer: MUST BE FAIR (ADIL!) Adil in this case means that no one will get hurt, everybody is happy with that.

So, again, I stick to my principle: THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT POLYGAMY IS SIMILAR TO SUNNAH RASUL ARE ONLY HEARTLESS CREATURE. Well, in fact I don't want to judge, but who knows in God's eyes The Most Merciful, hurting the wife's heart is also a SIN. (well, although I always think that being sinful or not is not human being's authority to decide, but it exclusively belongs to God the Almighty.)

My pray:

God, I want to see with my very own eyes those who have done violence to women, physically, psychologically, mentally, will get the most severe punishment from YOU, in this world. Amin.


jiwakitamerdeka said...

Always be kind to anybody. Love even those who hate us. Pray consistently that God will give Guidance for all of us change so that will LOVE their WIVE/S and FAMILIES and neighbours. Amin.

A Feminist Blog said...

It is easy to say "love those who hate us"., but I believe it is difficult to do.
The drama I illustrated in this post shows that. How long have Halimah and her children controlled themselves from seeing what Bambang Tri has done?
Another illustration, how long has Tata, the wife of Tommy, the younger brother of Bambang Tri, repressed her own feeling--knowing that her husband has lots of affairs outside their marriage?
It is easy to say, "love those who hate us", really difficult to do!