There are many reasons for us to do something in our life.
There are many reasons why we make friend with someone; maybe because that particular person has the same interest with us, the same personality, the same job, coming from the same hometown, or coming from the same walk of life, etc.
People have tendency to offer things they have to other people they are attracted to befriend. A female friend of mine—a very rich one—once complained to me coz her boyfriend was attracted to her only coz of her riches (that she got from her rich hubby). But I suspect that in the beginning of their relationship, she was the one who offered her riches to him, to attract him, to “tie” him. So, when then she found out he only made use of her money, why did she complain? Then she told me that she was jealous to see my relationship with my loved one coz it was not “built” on riches as the reason. HELLO??? Of course not. I don’t have riches to offer. I intentionally showed him that I was bright (ups, so arrogant of me?); it means I offered him my being bright to make him attracted to me. :-D and until now, I never regret it. “I love Nana coz she is smart,” that’s what he said to that female friend of mine who was jealous of my smartness. Well, both of us have nothing to complain, right? Both of us offered things what we respectively have to the guy we are attracted to. No need jealousy.
There are also many reasons why people fall in love with someone.
It is likely to happen that we fall in love coz of good look, good personality, smartness, until riches. People also say that perhaps coz that person has the “striking inexplicable chemistry” that attracts us very strongly.
We cannot blame our friend, for example, when he/she falls in love with someone coz of the good look, though behind the look, that particular person has nothing. It is because our friend perhaps value good look above any other thing. We cannot judge him/her as someone narrow-minded due to that. Who doesn’t like to be accompanied by someone good looking during entire lifetime? When we get bored coz of the routine, we easily get “medicine” by looking at our spouse’s good look.
We cannot blame our friend when he/she falls in love with someone coz of the riches he/she has. Well, we can probably say that this particular friend only chases riches coz he/she doesn’t want to work hard. But, what’s wrong with that? It is none of our business, is it? Can we assume that when people judge someone as materialistic coz of falling in love with riches as the main reason, it means we are just jealous coz he/she will get “enjoyable” life, full of money?
Some years ago, a female student of mine said that she was looking for a boyfriend who is smart, better still smarter than her. “To lead me to a good way in our marriage life later”, was her reason. I commented, “Well, if he leads you, how about if he misleads you? With his brightness, he can make up anything to sound logical to you, to assure you that it is the best way, so that you will say, “Yes, you are absolutely right, my darling.”
Try to understand people from their way of thinking. Don’t judge them bad only coz they use different parameter from ours in undergoing this life.
P.S (1): Well, suggestion for myself. J
P.S (2): I must admit that sometimes I cannot avoid coveting that I want to have everything I can offer to my loved one, not only smartness, but also including riches, one thing I don’t have YET. Well, it is very humane, isn’t it if we want to be everything before our loved one’s eyes?
P.S. (3): Ah ... I remember, a good friend of mine once said to me that I became very foolishly loyal when I am in love.