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Wednesday, August 23, 2006


“You’re a feminist, but you are married. How come?”

Aquarini started her article entitled “(Hetero)sexuality redefined” with the above question.

Some days ago I just bought a book entitled FEMINIST THOUGHT: A MORE COMPREHENSIVE INTRODUCTION by Rosemarie Putnam Tong. I bought the Indonesian version coz I cannot find the English one in Indonesia. In the book, I can find the background, and the development, besides the principles of some feminisms; Liberal Feminism, Radical Feminism, Marxist and Socialist Feminism, Psychoanalytical and Gender Feminism, Existentialist Feminism, Postmodern Feminism, Multicultural and Global Feminism, and Ecofeminism.

Feminism is not just about one definition. Feminism is not just “I am a feminist so I will not get married.” It is not as simple as that.

It is right that in 1960s, American feminists interpreted feminism as ‘being like men’, so that many feminists at that time got dressed like men, walked like men too, besides their way of thinking to be the breadwinner outside house. They didn’t like—and a bit despised—women who decided to be homemakers. They just represented the white middle-class women. They didn’t represent any other group of women, such as colored women and low class women. Gradually, women all over the world were awaken to follow their predecessors and started to define what feminism was for them. It is understandable then if they came to the different definition from those white middle class American women.

Many radical feminists chose to live single or be lesbians coz in their eyes, men are just creators of violence in this life. However, many other feminists get married. There is no problem with that.

The main idea of feminism, to me, is equality for women in all aspects. Women have full right to decide what they want to do in their life without depending on anybody else, moreover on men to make decision for them. Women can choose to be astronauts, scientists, or even feminist homemakers to shape feminist children. Women can choose to be lesbian, or to live single and happy with that, or marry men they love. Women can become feminine by wearing dress, high-heeled shoes, makeup, carrying a cute handbag or choose to wear trousers, sneakers, no makeup at all, carrying backpack. Women can choose to be motherly but they can also choose not to be like that.

Women are not supposed to be forced to be like this or like that; or to do this and that only because they were born as women, as having female bodies.

PT56 22.21 170806

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