Ghost Town

Carrie Bradshaw:

NY is definitely haunted. Old lovers, ex-boyfriends, anyone you have unresolved issues without balance you run into again and again until you resolve them. My relationship with Aidan was long dead until one invitation in front of me he was suddenly present my life again.

 

When one relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirit of relationship past?

 

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Have you ever thought that perhaps your dwelling city is haunted?

 

I left the house where I used to live together with my ex in 2005; at that time I was still pursuing my study in another city. No wonder, I never bumped into my ex although once in a while I visited my hometown because I was still working there. A year later, I finished my study and went back to my hometown, but I didn't tell him although we were not legally divorced yet. Therefore, he thought I was still living in another city; and, although we lived in the same city, we still never bumped into each other. Consequently, he never knew I had finished my study, lol.

 

 

Honestly, back in 2005 I was seeing someone else, oh well, not just 'someone', but some guys, lol, although there was nothing serious between us. In fact, I was sort of crazy for one of them, unluckily he was married. Ha ha … (un)lucky me, eh? Lol. Nevertheless, I had never done anything to make him leave his wife, I JUST enjoyed him a little and I realized my position. I was sweet, aren't I? lol. I abandoned my relationship with that man because I knew I had better do it as soon as possible. I should not let myself carried away by my own feeling.

 

 

I believe that Semarang is not as big as New York (I took 'ghost town' as the title of this writing from one episode of Sex and the City where Carrie thought NY was haunted: Carrie and her three friends were haunted by their past relationships, lol.) but I never think that Semarang is haunted. I never bumped into anybody I once had relationship with.

 

 

My ex and I were legally divorced in 2008, when he was going out of island for some months; it was the right moment for me to legally end our marriage as soon as possible. When he came back to our hometown, he got a notification from Religion Department officer about our divorce. I intentionally avoided meeting him (to meet our daughter) when he came to my dwelling place. I kept doing it for years. I didn't want him to feel I was willing to be back to him if I spared time to be with him.  Honestly, our divorce in 2008 was our second one. We first got divorced in 2000, and remarried in 2002.

 

 

When my daughter told me that her dad was going to marry a woman, I felt very relieved. It was a big sign that he was really ready to let me go. I didn't need to feel haunted by him anymore. Ah yeah, I had to admit that although he and I never bumped into each other on the street, he was still haunting me. The haunting came to an end when he got married again.

 

 

However, I have never been haunted by some other guys I used to have 'fun' with, lol. Perhaps because it was only for fun? Lol. Or perhaps in fact, I belong to the homebody type, I am not like Carrie and her friends who love hanging out in some cafes.

 

 

Have you ever been haunted by your past relationship?

 

PT56 14.34 22 September 2020