The first time I joined a mailing list was around three years ago, one classmate of mine at American Studies Graduate Program of UGM made one mailing list as a media for the students and alumni of American Studies UGM. At that time, we were still busy struggling to finish writing our thesis so that we did not really make use of the mailing list. After I graduated in January 2006, in fact not many members have made use of it to communicate to each other.
Around a year ago, I joined another mailing list, #Pria_Sehat_Tanpa_Celana# (in English it means “Healthy men without trousers”. LOL. I was interested in it because once in a while I got forwarded messages from some friends that contained funny pictures of stories from this mailing list. So, instead of only getting forwarded messages from it, I joined it by myself. This mailing list is especially for book lovers; mostly we talk about books. From PSTC, I knew another mailing list #Writers_Tavern# for people who love to write, want to learn how to write well, and for some writers whose books have been published, they can promote their books.
The following mailing list I joined was #Perempuan# (Women). I knew this mailing list when one day I read an article in website JURNAL PEREMPUAN ONLINE (www.jurnalperempuan.com) Last year when the first time I joined it, the hot issue to talk about was the Pornography Bill. From some members of this mailing list I knew another one, #Sastra Pembebasan# (Literature for Freedom). I must say that from these two mailing lists I learned a lot. From #Perempuan#, I learned to talk more about issues of women. However, I still remembered a year ago there was one member whose way of thinking was contradictory from the bulk of other members. I was wondering how she could smuggle herself, post many writings that were written from the status quo of patriarchal culture, and the moderator didn’t mind it. Until one day when she posted a writing that insulted Christian/Catholic people, many other members complained, and then I didn’t find any posts from her anymore. While from #Sastra Pembebasan#, the members were from more various background. Instead of talking about literature, in my opinion the members more often talked about politics, religions, culture, etc. From this mailing list, the first time I learned how to debate openly with some other members, especially about some hot up-to-date issues. This was another media for me to learn how to counter other people’s arguments besides via my blog at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com And from this mailing list I got to know some people with whom until now I communicate regularly online, my Abang especially, mbak Icha, and mbak Omie, and some others, like Pak Sumar Sastrowardojo (an expert in history), Pak Danar (a senior banker but very broad-minded in many aspects of life), Kang Becak that until now I don’t know his background (in the past I thought he was the owner of a business of renting pedicabs. LOL).
Different from the previous two mailing lists I mentioned in the above paragraph, most of the members were adults, mature in their age and experience, and older than I am. However, with that reason (the members who were already mature in age and experience) too I one day got fed up with it since they had something like “war”, talked bad things about other members whose way of thinking was contradictory, and not used good and polite words. How could those old people behave like teenagers? My Abang gave me an excuse, “When facing a preman (bad guy) Nana, we’ve got to be preman too. Did you get that?” LOL.
After starting communicating with Abang personally (not via mailing list), he encouraged me to join some more mailing lists to open up my horizon more widely, to know more people whose way of thinking is not much different from mine. It was because I complained to him how I was considered weird in my community. He said, “You are not weird, Nana. The community where you live is weird! Come join other mailing lists and interact with more people.”
However, I didn’t do his suggestion at that time. LOL. Well, you know I am stubborn, and just do what I want to do. LOL. At that time, for me to interact with people from mailing lists #Perempuan# and #Sastra Pembebasan# was already enough for me. I didn’t communicate much with members of #PSTC# since most of them were youngsters. While from #WT#, well, I loved to read the posts, but I was not involved actively.
Several months ago, out of the blue, Abang was kicked out of #SP# only because he defended another member who posted a joke on an airplane crash. (Indonesia was mourning because of that crash, where all of the passengers and the airplane crews were killed in that accident.) That member did not mean to insult the family or relatives of the victims in particular, or Indonesian people in general. Perhaps he just wanted to amuse us with that joke. However, the moderator didn’t want to give a damn. That member was kicked out. When Abang sent that member’s email to ask for apology to SP, without any clear reason, my Abang was kicked out too. Nah lo! And it made me unhappy because I often joked him in the mailing list. I would lose the chance to tease him. It is naughty of me to have a want to embarrass him in public with jokes, LOL, that never worked. LOL.
As a very sociable, friendly and caring person (although he is also strict!!!), he did not want some people who had been keeping in touch well in one community (read è one mailing list) to be separated, he made a new mailing list, #RumahKitaBersama#, (Our House Together) as our new community. (Oh, I remember one member of SP who was kicked out too, mbak Angel, where on earth is she now??? While mbak Ros, what made her not involve actively at RKB anymore? I still sometimes find her posts in some other mailing lists.)
Last April when I decided to be blogging professionally, I joined some other mailing lists to promote my blog at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com such as #Apakabar# (How Are you), #Mediacare#, #Zamanku# (My Era), #Forum Pembaca Kompas# (Forum for Kompas readers; KOMPAS is one big national newspaper in Indonesia), #PPIIndia#, #Islam Liberal#, #BeCeKa# (I forget what it stands for LOL), and #Christ and Buddha#, oh, one more that I usually abbreviate into FIKI and now I also forget what it stands for too. LOL. I also joined #Beasiswa# (Scholarship) and #cnsmagz# a new mailing list that belongs to CnS magazine published by the head office of my workplace in Jakarta. I joined #Debat_Antar_Agama# (debate among religions) for some months but then I unsubscribed since the moderator nosily edited my membership now and again. I did want to send my articles there to tell the members what is on my mind (respect other religions, when debating please use polite words and more educated logical reasons), but the nosy moderator made me fed up.
Some weeks ago Abang and I talked about the possibility of kicking out one member of one mailing list, he easily said, “Well, if we need to do that, we’ll do it.”
“Oh no Abang, No. Don’t be annoying like that.”
Perhaps at that time he did not really think further of what he just said, then he corrected it, “Nana, there is the word IF. Only IF he annoys the members of the mailing list, we will do it. Let’s say insult other people.”
And that reminded me of one very annoying person at SP a year ago that made me stop posting there, LOL. Abang really disliked him. LOL. (Trust me, my Abang is a very nice and sweet person, although strict. But when he does not like someone, he will really dislike him from hair to toe. Wakakakaka …) Maybe if the case is like that, I don’t mind Abang to kick him. LOL.
I replied, “I think as long as that member is not as annoying as that one person, I hope you will not kick anybody.”
Last night, when I sent one article of mine to some mailing lists I join, Yahoo! Groups informed me that I could not send it to one mailing list since I was not listed as one member of it. Oh? I have been kicked out. Perhaps I have been an annoying member in the moderator’s eyes there? As I wrote in a very short email to Abang, “Emang gue pikirin?” (Why the hell should I think of it?) LOL. Anyway, I still have my dearest friends in our warm and loving community, #RumahKitaBersama# and some other mailing lists that always welcome my writings warmly. And I have blogs scattered in some places where I get some loyal visitors.
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