The following thing I usually do is sitting on one bench, enjoying a cup of hot coffee, while writing in my diary, or reading a book. I recognize many familiar faces around me—parents who usually accompany their children who take swimming lessons and watch them practice. However, since I am not really a sociable person, I usually don’t pay attention to all of them. I enjoy myself with my diary or books to read and coffee. I believe those people are also familiar to see me sitting on the same bench, writing something or reading a book, a bit ignorant to the surrounding area.
|pic taken from this link|
And suddenly this morning, I remember what happened some years ago. In the swimming pool, some guys were around me, trying to be friendly to me. I was trying to be friendly to them too then.
One of them asked, “How often do you go swimming?”
I answered, “Well, around three or four times a week.”
He asked again, “Do you always do it in the morning?”
I answered, “On Sunday I always do it in the morning. On some other days, it depends on my spare time. But sometimes in the morning too, after I take my daughter to school.”
Unfortunately, then they started to be nosy. One of them said, “Oh, you are already married? Don’t you think you are supposed to be at home to do your household chores? And not just enjoy yourself swimming here pretending to be a single girl.”
I was not sure what I said at that time. I didn’t remember. I believe then I left them to continue swimming.
Remembering what happened some years ago—before I became a declared feminist—this morning, I became suspicious if one of those familiar faces seeing me writing or reading while sitting on a bench also had the same question on his/her mind. “What the hell is that woman doing there? Isn’t she supposed to go home soon and do her household chores to be considered as a good wife?” Of course I will not give a damn. None of their business anyway.
NOTE: the stereotyping in a patriarchal culture, a woman must not think of her hobbies as the first priority to do after she gets married; she has to give more priority to her husband and children; she has to think of her husband and children’s happiness in the first place, and hers at the last place. She is not supposed to hang around alone without her husband or children. She must be at home when her husband and children at home so that she can serve them well. Consequently, if she works, she must choose a kind of job that will not require her to be outside home in a longer time than her husband. It doesn’t matter whether she enjoys the job or not coz a woman is not born to be a professional worker in public places; a woman is born to be domestic or if having profession after all, as a professional homemaker. If a woman does all those things, she will be crowned as a good woman. On the contrary, a woman who “denies” her destiny will be crowned as a bitch. A woman’s feeling is not important—whether she happily does her household chores, “serves” the husband and children. Label to be a good woman is more coveted rather than to feel happy inside their heart for women coz they are worried to be labeled as a bitch. A bitch label is similar to being unloved and unwanted coz society doesn’t like bitches. And being unloved and unwanted means the end of the world for some people.
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