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| Samantha and Siddharta |
In the DROUGHT, episode 11 from season 1 Sex and the City, Carrie said that New York is about sex; people getting it, people trying to get it, and people who can't get it. In this episode, each main character has their own sex problems: (1) Carrie stopped having sex with her 'perfect' boyfriend after she accidentally farted in front of Big. (and the trigger she farted was that she felt too comfortable in their relationship!) (2) when Carrie didn't have sex with Big for 3 days in a row, Miranda didn't have sex at all for three months. This seemingly trivial problem made them quarrel a bit. Farting was something human so it was okay for Carrie to fart; this is Miranda's opinion. On the other hand, Carrie considered it a big problem because after she farted, Big seemed to lose his interest to have sex with Carrie.
"Not doing it when you are with someone means much more than not doing it when you are not with someone."
Then two of them continued talking about it, till Carrie asked, "is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it?"
Miranda responded, "it depends on what is normal for you." everybody has his/her own opinion/measurement what is normal, for sure; or how many times someone has sex in a day / a week / a month; or how long someone can stand not having it.
To entertain herself, Miranda rented some videos at Blockbuster to watch. Coincidentally, somewhere near Blockbuster, there were some guys working on the street catcalled Miranda. They seemed to know that Miranda was entertaining herself in order not to think about sex all the time. However, when Miranda responded to those man, they retreated. One of them, "Relax, lady. I am married." This made Miranda mock them 😁
Samantha -- who seemed to avoid having one steady partner to have sex -- was trying to seduce Siddharta, her yoga instructor. Unfortunately, instead of following Samantha's sexual need, Siddharta even taught her how to control her libido. Siddharta claimed that he used to be fond of sex too until he thought that his need of sex was a problem (he said it was all just ego.) so he started practicing celibacy. Interestingly, Samantha was interested in practicing it, though it was hard. (Can we interpret it that to some extent, Samantha agrred with Siddharta that having high sexual drive is sometimes troublesome?)
After a few days, Samantha eventually could not control herself. She invited one man in her yoga class to have sex. She did it in front of Siddharta. When seeing Samantha and that man left his yoga class, Siddharta was dumbfounded, his face was sweating.
Charlotte got a new boyfriend in this episode. Without her knowing, Kevin used to go out with Carrie. Carrie dumped him because he was a sex maniac. Nevertheless, with Charlotte, Kevin was a different person. He was no longer sex maniac. Realizing that his sexual drive put him in trouble, Kevin consumed prozac. He thought in a relationship, sex was not important, more important was how a man treated his woman with kindness. Unfortunately, this even made Charlotte decide to dump him.
See? Women also need sex in a relationship.
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When watching this episode for the first time several years ago, innocently I thought it would only happen in western countries, lol. However, recently, a good friend of mine once in a while tells me about her coach in the fitness center where she is a member. This coach is really addicted to sex. Interestingly, instead of having one steady sex partner, just like Samantha, she likes doing it with someone whom she happens to meet somewhere, for example when going traveling to Bali, let's say. Or sometimes she looks for dates online. Sounds very westernized, doesn't it? 🤪 or am I just outdated now? 🫢😑🤪
It reminded me of my discussion with some students of mine long time ago. Some male students said that no matter how much they needed sex, they were scared of sexually transmitted diseases. This stopped them from being promiscuous.
MS48 14.09 13 August 2025
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