Other Half

 

the pic was taken from here

Intellectual gap is the main 'culprit' of the divorce between ex and me. You can condemn me anything, I don't mind at all, lol.

 

Based on this thing, I told my only daughter to focus on being compatible when looking for a life partner, with whom she can talk about anything with ease. Well, of course it is somewhat impossible to find someone who is 100% compatible with us, but, at least we can try our best to get someone who has the most 'common ground'.

 

*******

 

Honestly, as an English teacher, I heard this phrase -- other half -- for the first time only around 15 years ago, from one very good friend. He called his wife as 'my other half'. Better late than never, don't you think? At that time, I was of opinion that the phrase was a romantic one, instead of just use the common word "my wife". I didn't come to think where the term came from.

 

Until out of the blue I met someone with whom I share many things in common, things that oftentimes make both of us wonder, how come we have the same way of thinking, when viewing things? And, just like that, suddenly the phrase 'other half' came to my mind, and it made me think,

 

 

"Oh, is it why the phrase 'other half' is suitable to describe a couple? Because many common things unite them? 

 

 When writing this post, I didn't come to the phrase 'other half'. However, when starting writing this post, I read the article I entitled "why getting married". How many people who are married in fact are really 'other half' of their partner? How many of them really find their life partner compatible before they decide to marry him/her? I am of opinion that more people get married due to social pressure (perhaps this is only in Indonesia?) instead of awareness that the love they have for their partner comes from how compatible they are. If so, isn't it predictable that unwanted things will happen in their marriage?

 

Just my two cents.

Semarang, 29 March 2022

No ifs, and, or buts

 Dating for the first time

What made you continue dating someone? 

Or on the contrary, what made you decide to stop seeing him again?

 

In the episode 5 of season 3 SEX AND THE CITY, (the title is "No ifs, ands, or buts") Carrie met Aidan -- her second 'main' boyfriend in the serials after Mr. Big -- for the first time. Aidan was a furniture designer, cute, and still single (never been married yet). And it was falling in love at the first sight, if I may say so. Without thinking any further, Carrie decided to buy one big chair made by Aidan, in his store after seeing him; while in fact, at first, she reluctantly accepted Standford's invitation to visit the store. 

 

the four girls talk about Charlotte's date who happens to be a bad kisser

 

Carrie and Standford in Aidan's store

 Unfortunately, on their first date, where Carrie expected to have a passionate kiss that then would make her and Aidan continue having a relationship, Carrie got a big disappointment: Aidan didn't like seeing her smoking. He even told her that he would never date a smoker. Carrie got offended, for sure, as what she confided in Standford. However, her three friends supported her to stop smoking due to health. By the end of the episode we see that Carrie chose to continue dating Aidan and stopped smoking. Well, at least, she would not smoke while dating Aidan. :)

 

Carrie and Aidan on their first date

 

 

Meanwhile, Charlotte dated someone who happened to be a bad kisser. Her three friends spontaneously asked her to stop seeing the guy. But you know, the kind-hearted Charlotte didn't have a heart to just dump him after their first date. She thought she still could 'teach' him how to kiss well, lol. Unfortunately, by the end, Charlotte gave in. she eventually dumped him.

 

Carrie talks to Miranda about her new crush, Aidan

 

 Miranda had a little problem with Steve, her then boyfriend, in supporting his pipe dream of making a half-court shot at the Knick's game. FYI, Miranda was a successful lawyer, had her own big apartment, while Steve was a bartender. Men usually are not that confident facing a woman with much higher salary than them. It is understandable that Steve wanted to make his dream come true to get one million dollar prize. Perhaps by having such big amount of money would increase his self-esteem in front of his girlfriend?

 

While Samantha started dating an African American record executive, Chivon Williams. Samantha, who usually preferred having just one night stand date, decided to continue dating Chivon. Unfortunately, Chivon's sister disapprove their 'relationship' due to their different color of skin.

 

-----------

 

From the summary I wrote above, we can make a conclusion that some things can happen to stop us dating someone, let's say your date has a bad way to kiss, lol. How to kiss well? Well, of course It depends on everybody's interest, I suppose. Can someone's way to kiss be 'corrected' or improved, lol, as Charlotte said that perhaps the two can have a talk about it and that practice makes perfect? Lol. Or as Samantha said, "Bad kisser is NOT negotiable. If his tongue is just gonna lay there, what do you think his dick is gonna do?" lol.

 

While different skin color perhaps can make two people stop dating each other, moreover if the family disapprove the relationship. In Indonesia? It can refer to different ethnic group until the most 'popular' case: different religion.

 

Do you happen to know a case where two people stop seeing each other due to smoking? Or drinking? Or do you think these two things are still negotiable?

 

How about having a girlfriend who is more financially established, if you are a guy. Is it a kinda threat? Will it make you feel like you are not manly enough?

THE READER

 

In fact this movie is a flash back to Michael's past experience when he was a teenager. He was 15 years old; the setting of time was around the second world war.

 

Michael was not feeling well when going back from school. He took a tram and couldn't stand his bad condition. After getting down from the tram, he vomited in front of Hannah's apartment. Hannah -- 30 years old back then -- was the conductor of the tram. Seeing his bad condition, Hannah helped him, brought him to her apartment and took care of him.

 

Several days later, Michael went to Hannah's apartment, brought her a bouquet of flowers to show gratitude. At that time, he saw Hannah getting dressed and attracted to her beauty and sex appeal. Realizing Michael's interest in her, Hannah even seduced innocent Michael. Since then on, they had discreet affair.

 

One interesting thing in their affair -- for me myself -- was when Hannah told Michael she was illiterate, and was very curious to know how it was like to be able to read books. Therefore, then Hannah set up a new rule: she asked Michael to read her a book before their lovemaking.

 

 

 

After some time, out of the blue, Hannah disappeared; leaving Michael deeply broken-hearted.

 

8 years later, Michael was a student of a law faculty. His professor asked him and some other students to attend Nazi trials. To his horror, Michael found that Hannah was one of defendants as she was a guard at Auschwitz; she was accused of allowing several hundred prisoners to burn to death locked inside a church. Among some defendants, Hannah was accused to be the guilty one because she was the one who signed the instruction letter. She defended herself that she just did what she was supposed to do as her job description but because she (was forced to) admit that she was the one who signed the letter, she could not avoid her punishment: life imprisonment.

 

Michael was in a dilemma. He knew that Hannah was illiterate, so if he helped to tell the court about it, he could save Hannah from her punishment. He didn't understand why Hannah didn't tell the court the truth that she was illiterate. However, Michael chose to stay quiet.

 

******

 

Many years later, Michael, a widow with one child, still could not erase his past memory with Hannah. He kept his feeling guilty for years; this made him unable to have a good relationship with other women. To reduce his feeling guilty, he started to record his own voice while reading books, and sent the tapes and the books he read to the prison where Hannah was imprisoned. He just dropped the tapes and the books without meeting Hannah. He was sure that Hannah would know who the sender was.

 

 

 

Around 2 weeks before Hannah was free, Michael came to the prison, to meet her in person. The meeting was awkward. Hannah was a bit touched by Michael's attention to him, but she knew that Michael still kept a certain distance from her. Michael was described as doubtful what he was about to do. Their past affair formed Michael's character as someone who was always uncertain in facing women. (just my opinion, though.)

 

In that occasion, Michael told Hannah that he had prepared a place for Hannah after she was released from the prison.

 

On the day when Hannah ended her life imprisonment, Michael came to pick her up; only to find out that Hannah committed suicide.

 

My comment:

Why did Michael become so annoyingly coward? And I was very heart-broken when finding out that Hannah committed suicide. She survived from her long life imprisonment, only to end her own life on her free day.

 

Awards:

 

Kate Winslet (Hannah Schmitz) got Oscar for her best performance in a leading role

The movie got the best motion picture of the year

 

Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl

 The following article was inspired by one topic appearing in SEX AND THE CITY, with the same title" "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl", episode 4, season 3.

Do you belong to the type of people who accept sexuality openly?

 

In episode "Boy, girl, boy, girl" of Sex and the City, Carrie dated Sean, a younger guy, after she was broken-hearted knowing news that her ex-boyfriend -- Mr. Big -- married another woman, Natasha, not long after their breakup.

 

On their third date, Shawn asked Carrie about her past relationship. Carrie mentioned her relationship that ended a while ago. then, she asked Shawn back.

 

Shawn: "Before you there was Kayla, an ironic. Before Kayla, there was Leslie, she could not commit. Before Leslie, there was Mark.

 

Carrie was shocked to hear that. Sean who could see Carrie's shocked expression asked, "is that a problem?"

 

The following day Carrie told her three friends. You can guess, Miranda and Charlotte could not accept that Carrie dated a bisexual guy, while Samantha showed her approval.

 

Samantha: "I think it's great.  He is open to all sexual experiences. It's hot.

"Bisexual is greedy." said Miranda.

"I am very in the labels. Gay, straight. Pick a side. And stay there." said Charlotte.

 

Furthermore, Samantha also said, "I am a try sexual. I will try anything once." doesn't she sound so challenging? Lol. I love her character so much, lol.

 

*****

 

Many people say that although SATC offered a breakthrough way of thinking entering a new millennium, the serial in fact, did not show the reality of New York which is a melting pot. The story was more about the white living there, only a little about the other 'race'.

 

This episode is an example. Carrie -- the self-acclaimed sexual anthropologist -- did not really accept bisexuality openly. It is as if although the people in NY admit that sexuality is not just straight and gay, they still consider that bisexuality is not supposed to happen among 'normal people'. Isn't as a sex columnist Carrie supposed to embrace all kinds of sexuality?

 

As one fan of SATC, I haven't watched the sequel, AND JUST LIKE THAT. Many articles say that AJLT is 'more New York',  all races are included in it, not just about the white. To me, AJLT sounds to be more receptive in describing sexuality too.

 

Btw, if your new date tells you openly about his/her bisexuality in an easy going way, how will you react? 

 

21.25 12/03/2022