How can two people who have nothing in common be attracted to each other?

 

"How can two people who have nothing in common be attracted to each other?"

 

This question was asked by Carrie Bradshaw, related to her relationship with Aleksandr Petrovsky. Carrie, a columnist who loves fashions, claimed that she was not really arty. On the contrary, Aleksandr was like an art himself. So, when they have nothing in common, what in fact made them attracted to each other?

 

Carrie met Aleksandr for the first time in episode 12 of season 6, in one art exhibit, where Aleksandr was the artist. Carrie didn't show interest in the 'show'; she even considered it 'something not serious'; the thing that perhaps intrigued Aleksandr as the artist. Carrie never heard of the fame of Aleksandr's name before therefore she didn't feel guilty laughing at the art piece exhibited.

 

Carrie and Aleksandr

To show that the show exhibited in the gallery was serious -- a woman told to be not talking not eating for 16 days, 24 hours a day -- Aleksandr invited Carrie to come to the gallery at 03.00 to prove that the woman was still in the same position: sitting on a chair, doing nothing else but sitting.

 

From this moment, they started to be attracted to each other: Aleksandr who thought Carrie as someone who didn't understand art; and Carrie who thought Aleksandr as someone who didn't have the sense of humor as highly as she did.

 

Later on, Aleksandr never involved Carrie in his art job, even explained to her about what he was doing, like he never got interested in Carrie's job as a columnist although in one scene, she was described to talk about Carrie's column to his artist colleagues, who apparently didn't seem intrigued by Carrie's humor in the writing.

 

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Carrie with her 3 boyfriends in SATC

 

I was really intrigued by Carrie's question "How can two people who have nothing in common get attracted to each other?"

 

Carrie's statement in the following episode "a single gal spends most of her life searching for the perfect male." in fact explained what made Carrie attracted to Aleksandr at the very first place. She was single, waiting for a guy offering her a true love. Aleksandr was 'hot' (this was the way Samantha described him), he was also famous, and had "the whole floor to be his own apartment for himself" a.k.a rich. And he was seeing only one girl at one time. What else was a gal looking for in a guy?

 

What made Aleksandr attracted to Carrie? Perhaps her 'innocence' or naivety in viewing his piece of art was even intriguing, plus he saw Carrie as one lovely girl, as he said when they both had their very late date for the first time.

 

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Referring to my own experience. Hmft … I used to be naïve, I believe, lol. I didn't think I needed to find something in common with the guy I was attracted to back then, even when I was in the same age as Carrie Bradshaw in the serials Sex and the City, around 35 - 38 years old. First, of course, I needed to see something good -- attractive men. A guy didn't have to be gorgeous, lol, as long as I could cope up with, lol. After that to see if he and I could have a nice chat about anything, books, feminism, food, etc. if I found him boring, ya goodbye. :D

 

Recently, I have been making myself busy with biking -- bike traveling to cities around my dwelling place -- so I need at least to find one thing in common with a guy that I will be attracted to: biking. I am not really knowledgeable about bike parts, more to traveling by bike. However, having this one thing in common does not necessarily mean things will go smoothly; I mean I am not always interested in a guy just because this one thing. I need a guy who will understand my being agnostic; even better if the guy is also in the same 'boat' with me: not someone very religious. I also want him to have similar opinions with me in things, let's say politics; to have similar sense of humor; to get the knack of simple technology. And one most important thing: financially established for sure.

 

Hohoho … I am DEMANDING. Eh? Lol.

 

PT56 15.43 28 August 2020

Dating a high school boyfriend

 

I have written somewhere before this that the possibility to date someone from high school is almost impossible. And I mostly relate this to make friend (again) with our high schoolmates. Will we still have hilarious moments together like we used to?

 

In fact, in one episode, Carrie bumped into her high school boyfriend. The man was married before, but then got divorced. After having (accidental) dates, Carrie thought that it was okay to date Jeremy again. Both found each other more attractive (and perhaps also more interesting to hang out together?)

 

(Un)luckily, Jeremy was one patient in one mental hospital. His doctor didn't recommend him to have a girlfriend until 10 months later. Due to this, both Carrie and Jeremy obeyed the doctor's warning.

 

Referring to what I wrote before, perhaps it was possibly okay to date someone from our teenage years. At least, I have one friend who has been dating her high school friend. And once she asked me the possibility for me to do the same. Ahhh … hell no. lol. I don't enjoy coming to reunion gathering.

 

Well, I did find one classmate from high school on facebook, he used to have a crush on me, but as I wrote in one blog post of mine, we have grown into two very different individuals. I used to be so-called religious, now I am an agnost. He seems to be even more involved in religious activities (perhaps, lol) than back then.

 

It is good for those who find their love with someone coming from their past. And it is good too for those who cannot do that. We each have our individual tracks, don't we?

 

PT56 16.19 26 August 2020

Zsa Zsa Zsu

Butterflies … stomach flips. … All used to describe the happy anxiousness that is the crossroads of something you’re looking forward to with the unknown. Carrie called it Zsa Zsa Zsu at the end of Season 5 (“I Love a Charade”).  She describes it as the feeling you get when you meet someone you really like. That sort of lovey, butterflies feeling when you just want to be with someone. 

Her actual quote was:

“How do you sustain a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu?”

“The what?”

“That butterflies-in-your-stomach thing that happens when you not only love the person, but you gotta have them. Isn’t that what gets you through the years? Even if it fades, at least you have the memory of the zsa zsa zsu.”

Interesting concept. But I am finding as I am zeroing in on thirty during this #31WriteNow challenge that Zsa Zsa Zsu doesn’t always have to be romantically linked even though that’s usually what is being discussed. As I come to know myself more and am clearer about the things I want, the things I need, and the things that are non-negotiable, I realize Carrie has a point. A lot of relationships may last for a long time without a butterflies feeling, but do you want that? Would you have an issue knowing that someone you love didn’t mind being with you, but didn’t necessarily want you? (How many relationships do you know that fit that description? I can think of several.) In fact, how many relationships have you been in for that EXACT REASON?

I am finding Zsa Zsa Zsu moments everywhere. Teaching isn’t glamorous (at all), but have my Zsa Zsa Zsu/Mr. Feeny moments every time I see the light bulb go off. When a child sees enlightenment in a concept I’ve taught them (in or out of the textbook), I get the butterflies. Those butterflies stop me from leaving the profession at particularly low moments. My friends provide Zsa Zsa Zsu moments over the years when I’ve felt particularly lonely in a new and bigger city than the one in which I grew up. The rest of that episode was interesting … truly one of my favorites. Miranda realized how important Steve was to her while Charlotte stopped her ideal man list to realize an ideal man was in front of her.

Carrie had some truly poetic dialogue in this show. My favorite lines were at the end …

“When it comes to relationships, maybe we’re all in glass houses and shouldn’t throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

I am deciding that’s true for anything that truly matters to me. And I truly feel blessed that those things are coming into fruition in my job potential, my friendship circle, my family, my faith, and the man in my life. The things I hold close to me are important to me because I want them … not just because they are there and available. Setting was a true possibility. When you settle, you’re always hoping for something different while being indifferent in the now. So as I get ready for my birthday dinner party … I am truly happy for butterflies.

Where have you experienced (or at least hope to experience) your Zsa Zsa Zsu?

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