Polygamy versus Having Affair

 

In Indonesia, where it is claimed that the majority of its citizens are Muslim, you can imagine that people think polygamy is not the same as having an affair. Polygamy is socially accepted (although not preferred for sure) but having affair is not although it does not mean that you will not find any case like that. :D However, I believe the phenomena about this having affair is not as bad as having sex outside wedlock. :)

I have been idle from blogging for years, except blogging about my biking activities. (You can check about this biking blog of mine here. I write mostly in Bahasa Indonesia though.) I have been very active on facebook these past a few years but I seldom write anything to expose my feminist way of thinking. I took it for granted that my facebook friends know I am a feminist. #smile ... I forgot that the last time I posted about feminism years ago, and of course I have got more 'friends' there, those who do not know that I am a feminist.

This post of mine was triggered by one comment of one facebooker on one status of mine, innocently stating that polygamy is endorsed in Islam. He even said that God asked Muslim men to have more than just one wife. :)  I was almost furious when reading his comment. LOL.

In short, in that post I wrote that in fact -- at least for me and (I believe) for many other feminists or those who avoid calling themselves as feminist, but humanist instead -- polygamy is the same as having affair. Both refer to disloyalty, the husband/the wife let himself/herself fall in love with another.

The difference is the practice of polygamy -- read it as polygyny meaning one man with more than one wife -- is 'protected by alquran (Surah An-Nisa verse 3). The verse gives Muslim men right to marry more than one woman, and what they do is ok. On the contrary, when people use the term "having affair", both men and women are socially condemned when doing it. When using the term polygamy, men are supported to do that, women are not allowed to do it, because 'it is against natural law'. :) However, when using the term "having affair" -- not related to any religion -- both men and women are wrong. There is equality here. As a feminist, I love equality. LOL.

So come on guys, be responsible! When you cannot be true to your partner, don't hide yourself behind your so-called holy book. Accept the fact that you are too condemned! LOL.

IB180 14.53 19/12/2015

P. S.:
When looking for pictures in google, I found out that in fact there have been many writings on this topic, polygamy versus having affair in Bahasa. I haven't opened those websites though. Nevertheless, I could conclude that those  writings are to defend men who practice polygamy. How boring! LOL.