My Naivete

Several decades have passed. A few days ago I just realized that I am -- sometimes -- still naive. LOL.

Here is the story.

For the first time I got a schoolmate who was not Muslim when I was in the first grade of junior high school. (I attended an Islamic elementary school). Since I got brainwashed that in fact Christians have worshiped the wrong 'god' -- Islamic teaching says that Isa (Jesus) was not killed, to save him from the angry society who didn't believe he was the prophet sent by God, he in fact was lifted by God -- it means the one whom Christians 'think' their god is someone else. :) The one whom my schoolmate (sitting at the same desk with me) thought god was one disciple of Isa (Jesus).

One day, out of my feeling concerned that my schoolmate worshiped a wrong god (LOL), I told her about what I used to believe."Don't you know that in fact Isa was not crucified? he was not killed? in fact he was still alive because God lifted him to the sky? and he will go down to the earth again when the doomsday is near."

My schoolmate looked at me with disbelief look in her eyes. But then she said something that I didn't think would come from her mouth. "I've heard about that. But of course I don't believe in it." bla bla bla ... one thing that made me sad because she didn't let me "save" her from a wrong belief. LOL.

In another chance, she wanted to learn to read some Arabic writings. In one religion book, I showed her an oath Islam people call 'syahadat'. 'Syahadat' is the first requirement for people to say to convert to Islam. When she could follow me reading 'syahadat', I told her that after reading it, automatically she became Islam. Again, to my disappointment, she didn't wanna be saved (by me). LOL. She "withdrew" what she has mentioned. She insisted that she was (still) Christian. :)

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I have been undergoing up and down spiritual journey since 12 years ago. From being a (so-called religious) Muslim, I converted to secular (still Muslim), then agnostic.

Several days ago, a workmate of mine said that she no longer can read any book which is not about Islam, including novels. I believe her husband was the one who prohibited her to do so. Honestly I was shocked to hear that. Spontaneously, I wanted to tell her, "Don't you realize that in fact all religions are made up by human beings? Those humans who thought that religions will make people live in harmony. bla bla bla ..."

This spontaneous want reminds me of what I wanted to tell my schoolmate decades ago.

I am still naive. LOL.

IB180 13.08 20/11/2015