I don’t remember when the last time I prayed. :-P Perhaps since I
realized that in my ‘old’ dictionary, the word ‘pray’ referred to
‘dictating to god to fulflil what I wanted via praying’, instead of
‘begging to god for god’s mercy to grant my pray’. At this point I realized that I have converted to be an agnostic instead of “just” a secular. How long ago? I don’t remember. but perhaps some posts related to “praying” will remind me myself.
So,
because I stopped praying, does it mean that I never expect anything
for my future? (do you agree that praying means we expect to get
something good for our future and we ask god’s help to make it come
true? Or in a more extreme point, we dictate god to grant it.)
Of
course I still expect some (or perhaps many) good things for my future.
But as people say, praying has a kind of ‘placebo effect’ (in Bahasa
Indonesia, we call it ‘sugesti’). After praying, people feel like they
have more strength to make their dreams come true. So? They try harder
to reach their dreams after they pray.
Me? I skip the ‘praying’
stage. After having one expectation – let’s say – I directly jump to the
following stage: do my best to make it come true. Isn’t our real effort
the most important part?
However, since I ‘learned’ that in many
cases our own expectation – especially when it is related to somebody
else – sort of hurt us when it doesn’t come true, I have tried my best
not to have lotsa expectations. Just live my life enough. Do what I must
do. As many ‘spiritual’ people believe that what we have done towards
other people in this universe, in fact, we do it to ourselves.
Meanwhile ...
A
few weeks ago, something came up. This made me open my twitter account
that I made perhaps in the middle 2010. But due to my twitter
illiteracy, I hardly visited.
I started tweeting until I found some accounts of public figures that I
thought would broaden my horizon in viewing this life. One of them was
Ayu Utami whose book – Si Parasit Lajang – was always one of my most
favorite books. And I always love reading her other books, from Saman,
Larung, Bilangan Fu, and Manjali dan Cakrabirawa.
I don’t know her spiritual view, honestly. One thing for sure is of course I know she is against the male-dominated culture.
But
frankly speaking after following her account on twitter, I found it
surprising when the first time she tweeted something that was related to
‘pray’, although it was a simple one. For example, “#doapagi,
lenturkanlah otot kami yang tegang” (#morningpray, make our stiff
muscles bend and relax easily) “#doapagi, lumerkanlah lemak menggumpal
ini” (#morningpray, reduce the fat in our bodies) until more serious
one, such as “#doapagi, tajamkanlah pikiran kami dan lembutkanlah hati
kami” (#morningpray, sharpen our brain and soften our heart).
Well,
people can say that she can be my role model so out of nowhere, I
started thinking what kind of ‘pray’ I could post in my twitter
account. My first one is like this: “#morningpray,
wish my yummy cappuccino will brighten my day and the good rumor at
school will come true”. Well, in fact it didn’t sound much different
from my ‘usual’ status, such as “my darling perfecto cappuccino, please
brighten my day”. Only, I did not necessarily consider it as a pray.
Have you ever thought that the existence of social network – such as facebook – has made people more narcissistic? It happened to me too. So this ‘new’ idea about updating status using the term #morningpray gave me more ‘chances’ to attract my online buddies there. (ahh, excuses!)
Luckily,
not long after that, when reading Ayu Utami’s latest novel “Cerita
Cinta Enrico” – the so-called biographical novel of her ‘present’
husband, I found the answer of my own question about her spiritual view.
Compared to Enrico who always thought that he was a non believer (but
still thinking about ‘being sinful or not’ when having sex), Ayu was a
believer. She was just against everything which was patriarchal, such as
Indonesia’s regulation of marriage : man/husband is the leader and
woman/wife is the homemaker. The government is not supposed to interfere in a family’s business,
Me? Believing that all religions (or only Abrahamic religions?) were products of patriarchal culture, I decided to be neutral.
So? Despite the fact that I claimed to be an agnostic, in my twitter account (which is synchronized to my r account) perhaps once in a blue moon, I will write #morningpray. But for sure, it is a far cry from dictating the so-called god.
GL7 14.04 200312
check this link and that one about praying 😊
the Bahasa Indonesia version can be viewed here
Some comments I imported from my other blogsite which will be closed down on December 1, 2012
maddypunyacerita wrote on Mar 20
Interesting thought :))
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20
thank you Maddy :)
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bambangpriantono wrote on Mar 20
:)
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20
bambangpriantono said :)
:) balik
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srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20
nice...
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srisariningdiyah said nice...
Legi....hehehe
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20
orangjava said
Legi....hehehe
sweet :)
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srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20
nice...
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20
srisariningdiyah said
nice...
aiiihhhh ... headshot nyaaa ^__^
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rengganiez wrote on Mar 20
Keliatannya sejak menikah Ayu byk berubah :-D
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 20
rengganiez said
Keliatannya sejak menikah Ayu byk berubah :-D
begitu ya? :)
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rengganiez wrote on Mar 20
Hihihihihi
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srisariningdiyah wrote on Mar 20
harusnya
kamis kemarin pas aku siaran terakhir sebelum cuti, ini ayu utami yang
aku wawancara, untuk bukunya yang ini... sayang dia telat dateng dan gak
ada konfirmasi lagi tetep mau dateng apa engga, padahal dah aku kasih
slot jam selanjutnya kalo emang mau, karna kebetulan kosong... hihihi
padahal mau nanya2 yang aneh2 xixixixx
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rembulanku wrote on Mar 20
doa yuk mbak, minta apa enake?
*make a list first* hehehehe |
dinantonia wrote on Mar 22
i think we should be praising, grateful and believing instead of asking when praying :)
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mawarangel wrote on Mar 30
How
your opini mba, when i "curhat" to God. I ask nothing, just want to
membagi beban. Ketika teman yg paling aku percayai ternya melupakan
aku... Is it a dictating also,,, :-(
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afemaleguest wrote on Mar 30
Mawar,
of course not you "just" curhat, right? not ask god to do something, let's say? :-D |