THE BREAK UP

“In choosing an artistic work to buy, make sure that you really love it and appreciate it. Just like in choosing a life partner with whom you will spend your entire life.”

This is what Brooke said to one of her customer.

THE BREAK UP is a movie illustrating how misunderstanding between a couple can ruin the relationship. Vince Vaughn played as Gary Grobowski and Jennifer Aniston as Brooke Meyers, Gary’s girlfriend. The misunderstanding is triggered by Gary’s underestimation to domestic chores Brooke does. Brooke who works for Marilyn Dean Gallery is also responsible to do the household chores after she goes home from work, to tidy up and clean their condo, cook for dinner, etc. Gary who thinks that he already works hard to support their life together feels that he doesn’t need to do any household chores. He also thinks it right to be spoilt by Brooke. Gary represents a man who still views man-woman relationship as public and domestic spheres. Below is one short conversation when they quarrel:

Gary : I work hard to be the best tourist guide in Chicago, to support our life together so that one day you don’t need to work.

Brooke : I WANT to work!

(the emphasis is from me. )

From her response above, it can be clearly seen that Brooke represents a woman who doesn’t want to be categorized as domestic creature. However, her care for her relationship with Gary, and I think also the common (patriarchal) idea that doing household chores belong to women, make her do those chores willingly, hoping that Gary will appreciate her. Therefore when Gary doesn’t show any appreciation to what she has done, Brooke feels very disappointed.

Another thing to point out is that when having a problem, confiding in someone who doesn’t really know the core of the problem will even make it worse. The suggestions expected to better the relationship even makes it end more quickly. An example depicted in the movie is when Gary confides in a bartender about her quarrel with Brooke. (He goes to a bar after quarrelling with Brooke.) The bartender easily says, “She must have slept with another man. Find out about him.” ups … 
Quarrelling because of misunderstanding also can make two people who actually love each other hurt each other. Brooke invites her dates to pick her up at home to show Gary that “many other men find her attractive”, while for “revenge”, Gary invites his friends and has orgy in the condo.

What Brooke says is correct, when choosing a life partner, make sure that he/she appreciates us. Appreciation will make us feel loved and cared, and this is very important to make a relationship work well.
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