Do you believe in afterlife?

 

Some time ago, I was involved in a talk about this thing: "afterlife" with one loved one of mine. I claimed as an agnostic to him; or that's what he 'concluded' about me from reading my blogposts.

 

Do agnostics believe afterlife?

 

Well, until 10 years ago, I still signed my posts in blog as "Nana, the secular". I finally decided to claim myself as an agnostic after 2012 for sure, with inexplicable reasons. :) Well, I realized long ago that I am in the process of searching. Therefore, I myself can't say that I will be an agnostic till the end of my life.

 

(haha, I believe it doesn't matter to you, does it?)

 

I can't avoid the fact that I was raised in a very rigid religious family. I got Islamic teachings not only from the school where I used to study, but more importantly was also from my very own parents. Therefore, if someone asks me what I have in mind whether I believe in the afterlife, I actually cannot stay away from the illustration of the condition of the afterlife I used to get from both my teachers and parents. But do I still believe in it? Of course not anymore.

 

My teachers used to say that only Muslims will go to heaven. Other people -- non Muslims -- will go to hell, no matter how good their deed is when they live in their life; because Islam is the only religion approved by the One and Only Almighty. Non Muslims will be punished to go to hell forever because they don't want to convert to Islam when they are alive.

 

(Therefore some -- I can't say many, moreover most of them -- Muslims then do anything bad they wanna do in their life (cheating, killing, corruption, etc) because eventually they will go to heaven. Of course there will be time for them to go to hell for those whose negative deed is bigger than their virtue, this is called that those Muslim people need to be 'cleansed' before entering heaven.)

 

"Do you believe so?" asked my loved one.

 

Well, during my life journey (thanks to facebook where I get a lot of different insight from many people I get to know there), especially in my senior age, I have met people from different walks of life. The insight I got from befriending with them gave me another idea.

 

In Islamic teaching, people know a philosophical term 'insan kamil'. Ibnu Arabi, one well-known sufi 'coined' this term as one perfect man, to refer to Prophet Muhammad. Insan kamil is the highest level of Muslim. Therefore, to be Insan kamil is what every Muslim covets to be.

 

Referring to that term, I have an idea that all people who have reached that level -- insan kamil -- will 'moksha' when they die. They will be liberated from any suffering, dukha and samsara; either they will enter 'nirvana' (heaven?) or they will just disappear. For those who do not reach that level yet, they will be reincarnated. And life will go on that way, for everyone.

 

This is what I think now when someone asks me about life after death. This is my level of my belief right now. And, I am still searching …

 

PT56 13.48 31.08.2023

 

GOOD-LOOKING = BAD IN BED?

 

Samantha and Smith

"Men who are too good-looking are never good in bed, because they never had to be," Carrie Bradshaw said to Charlotte in Sex and the City episode 2, season 5.

 

I wrote that statement of Carrie on my facebook status. I added,

 

"Isn't it hilarious?"

 

"Will men, consequently, claim they are not 'that' good-looking in order to be considered 'good in bed'?"

 

"How about you, girls/women? What will you say about your man?"

 

For sure, I didn't really get answers that I wanted to hear, lol. Some joking answers are:

 

1. Good in bed means someone who is willing to give me massage before I sleep.
2. Good in bed means that someone sleeps without snoring
3. Good in bed means someone who doesn't automatically fall asleep once he goes to bed ('pelor' a.k.a nempel

 

Luckily, 'finally' I got two hilarious answers.

 

1. Partially unproven
2. The worst in bed is not always the most good-looking

 

Ahaaa …

 

The one answering 'the worst in bed is not always the most good-looking' then explained,

 

"if he is good-looking and smells good, he already gets 50%, 35% is the behavior in bed, 15% is skill."

 

This explanation reminded me of Samantha Jones from SATC. One time, she had a boyfriend, James. She thought she really fell in love with him so that she patiently waited till their fifth date to have sex (usually she did it in the first date with any man), only to get disappointment because James' dick was very small.

 

Another story from SATC was when Miranda dated an ophthalmologist. She failed to reach her orgasm because Josh didn't know the location of a woman's clit!

 

Well, everybody has different standard for sure.

 

PT56 17.04 15.08.23

 

Great Love

 

Carrie and Charlotte

In one episode of Sex and the City, Charlotte said to her three best friends, "In this life, people have two great loves." Charlotte said this with full optimism she would find her second 'great' love, after being separated with Trey, her first husband. However, this claim upset Carrie.

 

"Who said only two? I have had Big and Aidan. It means … I am done! No more 'great' love for me."

 

==================

 

Carrie and Big in SATC the movie 2

 

For those who love watching Sex and the City, they know that although Carrie and Big's relationship had been on and off several times, finally they got married, in Sex and the City movie 2. Despite the fact that Candace Bushnell's mother was 'team of Big' instead of 'team of Aidan', the story described some awkward characters between Carrie and Aidan. Carrie belonged to the happy-go-lucky girl while Aidan was the homebody type. Nevertheless, Aidan loved Carrie so much that he never objected to Carrie's going to parties or night clubs with her three friends, while Aidan waited for Carrie at home.

 

Since season 1, Carrie was described to be obsessed by Big, she really wanted to be a part of Big's life, including she wanted to be introduced to Big's mother. When meeting Aidan, followed by having relationship with him, audience still could clearly see that Carrie still could not let go Big from her heart. Carrie also refused when Aidan wanted to introduce her to his parents, one thing she really wanted to do with Big.

 

Carrie and Aidan in AJLT

 

Carrie and Aidan's relationship ended the first time when Carrie told Aidan she cheated on him by having an affair with Big -- who was legally married with Natasha at that time. Their relationship ended for the second time when Carrie kept refusing Aidan's proposal to be married with him. While in fact audience knew how Carrie really wanted to marry Big. I presume that both Carrie and Aidan had the same intention: Aidan wanted to marry Carrie because he thought that Carrie wouldn't cheat on him anymore. Carrie also wanted to secure her relationship with Big with the same reason: Big would not dump her 'just like that'.

 

============

 

In AND JUST LIKE THAT -- the spin-off of Sex and the City -- the character of Big was killed in episode 1 season 1 -- in order that Carrie would continue her 'journey' to look for a soul mate.

 

Aidan eventually appeared in episode 9 season 2 of AJLT. It is easy to guess that Carrie and Aidan will continue their relationship. In the past, Big was always the 'obstacle' for Aidan to win Carrie's heart. Carrie could not really love Aidan because Big was between them.

 

Now that Big was gone, will these two really be united? Or will Carrie still have doubt?

 

In the 'real' life, people will change year after year. Perhaps these two people still have special feeling for each other, but do they still have the same personality? Do they still laugh at the same things? Do they still have the same sense of humor? Do they still view things from the same point? Or if on the contrary, will they be able to accept their differences?

 

If not, and they break up (again), will it make Aidan lose hope of his 'great love'?

 

NOTE:

In season 5 of SATC, Carrie bumped into Aidan on one road, Aidan was already married and had a kid, Carrie was single. Their accidental meeting didn't make them reignite their love story though.

 

In SATC the movie 2, the two bumped into each other again in Dubai, they had a date for chitchat, and they kissed. The kiss made Carrie feel guilty so she need to ask for apology to Big. In the movie. Carrie was married with Big, Aidan was married too.

 

PT56 15.33 14.08.2023

 

P. S.:

Do you believe in great love? How big are the chances for people to find great love in their life?