More or less ten years ago, I believed that
only in Indonesia (plus perhaps some neighboring countries) we could find
people who adore marriage. The so-called (boring) “normal” life cycle for
Indonesian people is this : being born – going to school – going to college –
graduating – getting a job – getting married – having kids – getting old –
finish. :) To be (considered to be)
happy, someone MUST get married, then MUST have kids. Without getting married
and having kids, someone’s life is considered not complete, even perhaps dull.
While watching serials in Sex and the City
(season 5 dan 6) around a decade ago, I noticed that for New Yorkers, to be considered
happy, there are three things they must have (1) established job (2) house (3)
life partner.
The main focus of Indonesians and New
Yorkers are a bit different. But there is one similarity : life partner,
although in Indonesia, someone must get married (legally) in order to avoid being
gossiped by neighbors, (cohabitation is still considered morally low here) while in New York,
someone does not need to get married, as long as they have life partner.
Recently I have started watching SATC
again, but this time starting from season 1 and 2. In these two seasons, the
four girls were still single, changing dates very often. I saw how unhappy they
were when they broke up, or when they had no dates. Despite the fact that they
wanted to be known as “being single and happy”. Isn’t it
contradictory? This made me question whether this serial really wanted to show
that girls can choose to be single and happy?
We know that by the end of
the serial (season 6), Miranda and Charlotte both were illustrated as happily
married. Samantha was happy with her young boyfriend, Smith. Meanwhile, Carrie
(eventually) married Mr. Big in the movie. :)
Perhaps marriage-oriented
society still lingers everywhere, not just in the developing countries. J Feminists still have to
struggle to convince society – especially girls – that to live single and happy
is absolutely possible. Well, at least, minimize the number of people who
choose to get married only because of social pressure. Get married when they
are really ready for that.
LG 2015 - 2016
The pic was taken from here
